Woof, Woof

Sonya of London exudes animal magnetism for $120 an hour

"Houston is a very metaphysical city," Sonya of London was pleased to report. Her business is "beginning to be quite profitable." Customers send letters expressing their satisfaction.

"Sonya's readings are remarkable," Clair Rowland wrote. "My Airedale described an arthritic condition in her hindquarters. The Airedale also told Sonya our Chihuahua had an ear infection."

One woman described how her cat had been sick for about five years until Sonya performed "some kind of laser surgery of the mind." Another was grateful that her turtle got better after Sonya relayed that it needed a larger tank. And then there was the amazing case of Karen Balloun's sick iguana. Zuki's green had turned to the lime green of the carpet when Sonya finally laid hands upon him. Her hands trembled up and down the reptile until, boom! Out popped the "intestinal blockage," right into the lap of Sonya of London.

"He's been perfect ever since and growing like a weed," Balloun testified happily.

Sonya's story is so amazing that it fills you with a desire to witness the miracles. Fortunately, there was that chance recently, when Sonya of London made her way into Borders Book Shop on Westheimer. A sign directed browsers to a place between the literature and romance sections, where Sonya Fitzpatrick would "teach us how to communicate with our animals." At the appointed hour, about a dozen people had gathered, almost all of them women. Emma James collected $15 from each one, and then Sonya of London began again at the beginning.

"I was born with a gift -- I realize that now," she said. She told about the geese and the modeling and how this tremendous power was locked within her for so many years. Finally, when she was done, she addressed the topic of the evening. To tune into your animal, she said, you have to clear your mind. She told everyone to close their eyes and relax and send their animals "a feeling of love."

It was not hard to imagine a great pink cloud of that feeling suddenly billowing overhead. One woman rolled her skull slowly from side to side. Another sat there kind of smiling, another sat with palms open, apparently meditating, and still another chewed gum and twiddled her thumbs. When they were told to open their eyes, the woman in the Annie Hall hat had gotten a message that her dog wanted to sleep in her bed. No one else had gotten anything, except for the lady whose dog had told her it was awfully noisy.

Thus, the time came for Sonya of London to take the stage. Who has a pet problem, she inquired, and a thin, nervous woman stepped forward and said her name was Cindy and that her dog, Spike, gets nervous when she leaves and "uses the bathroom in the house."

"All right," said Sonya of London, closing her eyes and putting fingers to her temples, "let me tune into Spike's energy."

She was quiet for a moment, and then she began to speak for Spike.
"Spike is telling me he's a very beautiful animal. I'm getting two colors."
"No, just red," said the woman.
"He's telling me two colors."
"No, just one color."
"Not two?"
"Well, a bit of white on the chin."
"Okay, have you moved his bowls? He's telling me you've moved his bowls."
"No."
"Since you've had him -- it doesn't have to be lately."
"Well, several years ago."

He likes his bowls where they used to be, Sonya said, and it went on like this for a while, until Spike confessed that he couldn't control his bowels when Cindy left because he feared she would never return. Sonya of London eased Spike's anxious heart.

"He's frightened. I'm telling him it's okay to be frightened. I'm telling Spike you will always, always come back to him."

Cindy smiled and stepped down, and then a young couple raised their hands and asked why their cat hated the veterinarian. This one took no time at all. Sonya said it was because the anesthetic hadn't worked when the cat was neutered. The couple looked sad for a moment until Sonya told the cat this would never happen again. "Thanks," they said in unison.

The end came abruptly when Emma James emerged from the shelves and pointed impatiently to her watch. Sonya of London apologized for having to leave, but told her listeners there were tapes for sale. She closed with a prayer to "the god force" to watch over the animals.

The audience slowly broke apart then. On their way out, two women were debating just what they had seen. People believe what they want to believe, said one, but for herself, she didn't think people could converse with animals.

Her friend shook her head, though. Sonya of London had described little Angel perfectly.

"You'll see," she said. "When Angel stops chewing on the carpet, you'll see!

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