Sweet Little 19 Poor old Numbers: Despite nearly two decades of cutting-edge bookings, the cavernous club on lower Westheimer has yet to be named "best live venue" in a Houston music poll. And yet, like Susan Lucci, the club makes do -- sans trophy -- with a solid reputation and a hard-core following. Numbers, after all, is the place that introduced Houston audiences to the likes of Beck, Nine Inch Nails, Alanis Morissette and Ministry. Today the club turns 19 -- the dreaded cusp of adulthood -- and the lineup for its free birthday blowout includes the best of Houston's pop scene: the Jinkies, the Suspects, Chlorine and Atticus Finch. Doors open at 8 p.m. Numbers, 300 Westheimer, 526-6551. Free, 21 and over; $5, under 21.
Princess Hamlet Cast, thy name is woman. Director Lauren Johnson turns the tables on the Bard by casting women to play all the parts in Main Street Theater's new production of Hamlet. The characters and the story are the same, but rather than having men interpret the women's roles, as Shakespeare had in mind when he wrote his plays, Johnson's putting the melancholy Dane and his manly cohorts in touch with their feminine sides. The play opens with a preview performance at 7:30 p.m. Through May 18 (see Thrills, Theater for additional showtimes). Main Street Theater, 2540 Times Boulevard, 524-6706. Preview price, $5.
Joe Chvala's Flying Foot Forum It's like a sinister Stomp, and the dancers dress better. But neckties or no, Chvala and troupe get primal and passionate employing Native American dance, French Canadian step dance, Appalachian clogging and plain ol' American tap, plus they bang sticks and furniture on the floor. The precise moves and intense rhythms will reach into your very being, consuming you like a rapid heartbeat, or a pounding headache. The Flying Foot Forum is the second installment in the Houston Fringe Theater Festival. 8 p.m. today and Saturday; 2 p.m. Sunday. DiverseWorks, 1117 East Freeway, 223-8346. $15; $7, seniors and students.
Ricky Van Shelton Van Shelton produced five platinum and three gold albums between 1987 and 1993. He loved the music, but not the industry's politics, and he p.o.'ed a few bigwigs by saying so. Then there was a recording that didn't do so well, and it's been slower going since. (He's made two guest appearances on Baywatch, plans an animated video series based on his Quacker series of children's books and has recorded a CD of traditional country songs due out in June.) Thus, he's performing in Freeport tonight to help raise funds for Brazosport High School's Project Graduation. Rounding out the bill are Brady Seals, former frontman for Little Texas and current hit-maker ("Another You, Another Me); the country/rock/rap/blues outfit the Debonaires; and country crooner Jeff Chance. 6 p.m.-midnight. Brazosport High School auditorium, 1800 West 2nd Street, Freeport, (409) 233-0151. $15 in advance; $20 at the door.
22nd Annual Fort Bend County Czech Fest It was a Czech who tooted Come to My Bower on his fife to signal the Battle of San Jacinto, and Czech-made music has been rockin' Texas ever since. Czechs settled down the road from the famous battle site, and this weekend, they celebrate their culture with oompah bands and cloggers, bake-offs and food booths. They'll gladly teach non-Czechs a Czech word or two (good luck!) and even how to make homemade noodles. Tonight, honorary Czech and Texas legend Johnny Bush (he wrote "Whiskey River") plays with his Bandoleros, and the Fort Bend County Czech Alliance crowns its festival queen. 6 p.m.-midnight; 9 a.m.-midnight Saturday; 10 a.m.-8 p.m. Sunday. Fort Bend County Fairgrounds, Highway 36 South (three miles south of Rosenberg), (281) 342-5934. $5; $2, children six12; free, children under six.
Les Hommes du Port Filmmaker Alain Tanner pays homage to Genoa, Italy, and the men who work its ports. His own working life began 40 years earlier in that city, when he boarded a ship bound for Africa. Tanner dropped out of shipping to explore the cinema. But decades later, he returned to film the loyal workers, who relish the freedom and camaraderie their profession provides. A Houston premiere. In French and Italian with English subtitles. 7:30 p.m. tonight and Saturday. Museum of Fine Arts, Brown Auditorium, 1001 Bissonnet, 639-7515. Free.
Surfside Open Surf's up. No, really: People do surf the Gulf, and even take part in organized competitions. Today's match is the last in the Texas Gulf Surfing Association's series before the Texas State Surfing Championships in South Padre in mid-May. The competition ranges from menehunes (boys and girls under 13) to legends (boys and girls over 55) and from longboards to bodyboards. 8 a.m. Surfside Pier in Surfside, 975-5314 (weather pending). Free for spectators.
Pet Adoptathon '97 Shelters across the country are participating in this special push to place animals in loving homes, but the Houston Humane Society offers an extra-special deal: Every pet adopted comes with a free surgically inserted microchip and enrollment in PETtrac, the global recovery network. A simple scan will identify your pet for safe return. 9 a.m.-6 p.m. today and Sunday. Houston Humane Society, 14700 Almeda, 433-6421. The $65 adoption fee includes spay/neuter surgery, shots and grooming.
Dungeon Drop Meander through Merlin's laboratory (with mythical lighting), the king's armory (the weapons testing area) and a dungeon filled with the remains of knights who didn't pass the test of courage. Then comes the scary stuff: You sit in an amusement park car, your legs dangling as the ride lifts you 230 feet in the air; after you enjoy a brief bird's-eye view of the downtown skyline, the car drops 100 feet at a rate of 62 miles per hour -- and then the state-of-the-art magnetic brakes kick in. AstroWorld brags that Dungeon Drop is the tallest scream machine in Texas, and it opens today. The park is open Saturdays 10 a.m.10 p.m. and Sundays 10 a.m.-8 p.m. only till May 17, when the full season kicks in. AstroWorld, 9001 Kirby, 799-1234. $30.95; $19.95, children under 48 inches tall; $14.98, seniors; free, children under three.
Tamalalia 2! Tamarie Cooper's taking her show on the road --with audience in tow. Ticket holders will board a school bus and travel with Cooper on a tour of her favorite places in Houston: among them, the Beer Can House and the Home of Easy Credit. Play on-the-road bingo, sit back as Cooper shows off her way with clothes, and groove to the Car Crash Dance, the Mad Cow Ballet and a performance by Texas Guinness Lovers. Bring along a sack lunch; an activity kit is included. 2 and 5 p.m. Saturdays and 2 p.m. Sundays through May 18. Zocalo Theater, 5223 Feagan, 935-2008. $9.99.
Westheimer Street Festival First, the street will be shut down. Then, the stages will be erected for the spring 1997 edition of this long-running street fest. Nearly every good punk/rock/pop band in town will play at one point or another on one of festival's three stages, from the Jinkies and the Flaming Hellcats (both today) to the Poor Dumb Bastards and the Suspects (both Sunday). There'll be some arts and crafts, more food and even more beer and a Bud Light Pro Beach Volleyball Tournament. And, yes, there'll be traffic, and parking headaches, and better people-watching than the International Festival. 12:30-7:30 p.m. today and Sunday. 200-1000 blocks of Westheimer. Free.
Channing Concerts season finale The Tallis String Quartet, Houston's much lauded and longest-standing professional quartet, joins forces with four of their academic peers for a rare performance of Felix Mendelssohn's Octet in E-flat Major, op. 20. That's four violins, two violas and a pair of cellos performing a work that's described as popular despite its being rarely performed. Sounds like it has underground overtones, but then Mendelssohn did write the piece as a teen. First, though, the Tallis group sets the stage with Sir Edward Elgar's only work for quartet, Quartet in C minor, op. 83. 4 p.m. First Unitarian Universalist Church, 5200 Fannin, 526-5200. Free.
The Mojado Brothers Comedy Festival That's right: mojado. So what of it? "Mojado Brothers" started as the name of comedian Paul Rodriguez's clothing line, and from there has grown to a traveling comedic troupe and possibly even a television series based right here in Texas. In all incarnations of the Mojado Brothers, the message is upbeat, a full-on celebration of ethnicity. The main Mojado for this show is Pablo Francisco, the Robin Williams-esque regular on Fox's Mad TV; backing him up are Freddy Soto, Sheila Rivera and Rene Sandoval. They've been at the Laff Stop all week, and they're sticking around for a special Monday night show for Cinco de Mayo. 8:30 p.m. Laff Stop, 1952 West Gray, 524-2333. $12.
Andree Putman: A Rice Design Alliance Lecture Putman is among the world's top interior designers; Karl Lagerfeld, Yves Saint Laurent and Cartier call on her expertise. Her philosophy: "beautiful things for everyone." 8 p.m. Museum of Fine Arts, Brown Auditorium, 1001 Bissonnet, 527-4876. Free.
An Evening with Jimmy Buffett If you book him, they will come. With almost no radio play, the Chief Parrothead has sold scads of his 27 albums, and faithful fans swarm the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion for his annual pair of dates there. Call it a yuppie love-in: thousands of suburbanites paying top dollar to live vicariously, if only for a few hours, through a man who sails and drinks and pays his bills by singing about sailing and drinking. 8 p.m. Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion in The Woodlands, 629-3700. $27.50-$54.
James Talmadge: People, Places & Things Artist James Talmadge must love crowds. His romanticized paintings are crammed with folks who are enjoying the elbow-to-elbow company of their fellow man; the brightly colored works make you want to get out of the gallery and go clubbing. Only then you couldn't see the paintings. Talmadge, a favorite painter of the entertainment industry, counts among his collectors Louie Anderson, Bill Cosby and the new Mr. and Mrs. Andre Agassi. The exhibit opens today at Post Gallery; an artist's reception will be held from 6-9 p.m. May 8. Gallery hours are 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday. 1706 Post Oak Boulevard, 622-4241.
Chili Queen Newsman Jim Lehrer stopped in the Dairy Queen in Emory, Texas, for an ice cream sandwich back in 1986 and listened as a waitress and customer argued over how much change was due. Lehrer hightailed it out before the dispute was resolved, but he wrote the play Chili Queen about what might have happened: The customer gets hold of a gun and demands not only his change but an apology; then the media circus comes to town. Bob Boudreaux and Dave Ward play the stars of the media circus. Preview performances at 8 p.m. tonight and May 8; regular performances, May 9-June 1 (see Thrills, Theater for additional showtimes). Stages Repertory Theatre, 3201 Allen Parkway, 527-0220. Preview, $10.