Robert Schimmel "Sex is on the forefront and backfront of everyone's mind," says the standup comedian -- and it's also on the forefront, backfront and in-between tracks of his new CD, Robert Schimmel Comes Clean. That collection of stage bits, like his live act, overflows with f-words, p-words, c-words and more. The more tasteful moments include a fake ad for "Pina Colada Dick Mist" and a meditation on vibrating butt plugs. 7 and 9:30 p.m. Rockefeller's, 3620 Washington Ave, 869-8427. $17.50.
The Paladins The British music mags are mad for these California roots-rockers; the critics compare the band variously to Los Lobos, the Fabulous Thunderbirds and (our favorite) Jimi Hendrix, if Hendrix had toyed with country music. The sideburned trio are said to be at their best on the road, and they have the odometer to prove it: Their latest album, Million Mile Club, was named after their Chrysler van reached that mark. The Teddy Boys open at 10; Paladins at 11 p.m. The Blue Iguana, 903 Richmond (at Montrose), 523-