Fast times at Cougar High
U of H grad students charged that the school routinely required them to pay for sham "dummy classes" -- a stratagem to secure more tax dollars -- in order to keep their jobs as teaching assistants.

Aw, it was just a "Tribes of the Amazon" social studies project
An eighth-grader in Cleveland was expelled for shooting a middle-school principal with a needle-sharp dart he had made.

Somewhere, Janis is smiling
Students at Port Arthur's Thomas Jefferson High School -- alma mater of Janis Joplin -- celebrated the next-to-last day of school with a cafeteria food fight in which they overturned tables and chairs, smashed windows, tore down ceiling tiles and sent buns and red-colored drinks whizzing through the air.

Sheila Jackson Lee went down in milliseconds
Deep Blue Junior, a smaller version of the famous IBM chess-playing computer that vanquished Garry Kasparov, defeated Rice University chess champ Nathan Doughty in less than an hour.

Deep Blue doesn't understand it, either
Mayor Bob "I love numbers" Lanier floated an argument purporting to demonstrate that a revised Fourth Ward housing plan by which Houston Renaissance would subsidize 150 affordable units, instead of the 350 originally promised, actually worked out to more units, since added to the 250 units planned separately by the city, the total would be 400, 50 more than the 350 figure, even though both projects together would have added 600 units, and ... oh, forget it.

Fun Couples

They've heard he's offered her that Princess Di part
The tabloids have offered a fat bounty to anyone who can produce a photograph of recently divorced movie star (and noted philanderer) Kevin Costner together with the recently divorced Laura Sakowitz, Bobby's glamorous blond ex.

So that's why she never dates Democrats!
Bob Mosbacher's about-to-be ex, Georgette, was spotted with disgraced Republican political consultant Ed Rollins out and about in New York City, although Rollins pleaded "just friends," saying, "Georgette likes billionaires, and I'm just a thousandaire."

But only after she outfitted all their phones with star 69 and caller ID
Singer Kenny Rogers, who was divorced by his last wife after three women accused him of having phone sex with them, took wife number five, the 29-years-younger Wanda Miller.

My Christmas present or your life
Vicky Renee Menard stalked Tim Chapman and shot him at a north Houston service station in an attempt to get back a coat he had given her for Christmas.

She was inspired by Marv Albert
Jacqueline Boykin was charged with attempted capital murder after she bit her husband, Charles, a Kountze alderman, and then claimed she had AIDS.

No, money walks and something else talks
Olympics-obsessed Councilman John Kelley kept right on feuding with Jim "Mattress Mac" McIngvale over who was best qualified to snag the games for Houston, a tussle in which Kelley called Mac "a furniture salesman" and Mac said of Kelley, "Money talks and something else walks."

Little Bo Peep has hired Rudy T's lawyer to sue for trademark infringement
In the wake of the Heaven's Gate cult suicides, reports showed that onetime Houstonian Marshall Herff Applewhite had taken his mystical turn after meeting astrology-obsessed Houston nurse Bonnie Lu Trousdale Nettles -- after which the couple, known to their followers as "The Two" or "Bo and Peep," spread the gospel that they were aliens in human bodies awaiting retrieval by a spaceship.

Our Friends The Animals

They're worried about the ozone levels
Experts reported that as killer bees make their way north in Texas, for some reason they turn left just shy of Houston.

Just a colder version of Channelview
A new species of pink, frilly-legged worms was discovered living in mounds of methane-rich ice on the Gulf of Mexico's floor -- a hostile environment with no light, little oxygen and a constant presence of sulfides, gas and concentrated brine.

No, he mistook his reflection for Lloyd Kelley
Police responding to a burglary call at a Stafford store found the front door smashed and a billy goat ramming the window. Said one cop: "He probably thought he was butting another male goat."

Does Ken Hoffman have an alibi?
After the first black bear in a generation was spotted in Montgomery County, local ranchers blamed it for devouring calves and leaving just the rib cages.

First the mayor's race, now this
One of the worst infestations of forest tent caterpillars in years sent a thick rain of caterpillar excrement onto the decks, patios, sidewalks and lawns of Missouri City.

With some nice forest tent caterpillars for dessert
Rice University administrators, staff, maintenance workers and students lured a three-foot iguana down from a campus tree by laying out a vegetable buffet.

With practice, they hoped to become Houston voters
A flock of wayward Muscovy ducks kept loitering on the Southwest Freeway in Sugar Land, resisting attempts to relocate them to a safer home, even after a motorist mowed down ten of them.


Now the manager knows what "deep shit" means
The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission investigated Rowdy's nightclub on I-45 near Spring after a customer reported that she had discovered a video camera -- which was connected to a monitor in the manager's office -- hidden behind an air-conditioning vent over the women's toilet.

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