By Chris Lane
By Jeff Balke
By Aaron Reiss
By Angelica Leicht
By Dianna Wray
By Aaron Reiss
By Camilo Smith
By Craig Malisow
Kerri V. Goode taught him everything he knew
A man who robbed Resource One Federal Credit Union walked across the street, in full view of a teller, and proceeded to have lunch at Ryan's Steak House, where he was arrested.
At Kerri V. Goode's suggestion
An unemployed carnival worker fleeing Maryland assault charges was nabbed in Brookshire after he went to a police station to borrow gas money.
They think Kerri V. Goode may have been involved
When two armed robbers jumped an armored car guard picking up money at the Atrium 10 Tower, officers from Harris County's Organized Crime Task Force poured from their same-floor classroom, exchanged shots with the pair and arrested one of them as the other fled.
When you've got to go, you've got to go
After a brief chase, police arrested a trio of teenagers who had been spotted along a freeway feeder as one boy relieved himself beside a stolen gray Ford Taurus.
But he nailed them for embezzling the take from the Christmas bake sale
Six years after discrepancies were discovered in the bingo books of VFW Post 2427, two elderly ladies finally were acquitted by a judge of stealing $10,000 from the Ladies' Auxiliary bingo proceeds.
Four men who robbed a flower shop and shot the owner, wounding her, stopped on their way out to pick up four white Valentine's Day teddy bears.
Don't fire until you see the whites of their toenails
Wayne Bateman, 76, a retired Houston cop, told a jury that when he shot his 35-year-old girlfriend in the hip -- after ramming her with his motorized wheelchair -- he was only aiming for her big toe.
Gimme that hard-time religion
Rocky Bert Cozzens escaped from the Liberty County Jail by scaling a fence after hiding under a water tank used for prison-yard baptism services.
He had run out of his special homemade jerky
James Hand, a skilled outdoorsman who had been jailed for butchering a 1,500-pound buffalo and slaughtering a prize breeding bull, escaped from a Brazoria County prison and hid out in nearby woods for two days, blackening his face and clothes with shoe polish and subsisting on peanut-butter crackers.
Then he gave him an enema
A Houston pharmacist thwarted a would-be robber by sitting on him and wrapping him up with medical tape.
The law west of Dow Chemical
Lake Jackson bank president Buddy Baker -- who last year followed a bank robber to her mobile home, where she was arrested -- tackled this year's robber and wrestled him to the floor while the suspect's wife and three children waited in the getaway car.
That's exactly how we feel about our HMO
David Jefferson Jennings, disgruntled over Social Security benefits and bad teeth, was arrested in an alleged plot to take hostages from a dental office and plant bombs in daycare centers, after which eight homemade pipe bombs were recovered from his Baytown mobile home and his pickup.
Mr. Jennings just wanted to know his goddamn balance
Police called to an automatic teller machine in southwest Houston found it had been damaged by an explosive device.
And you thought junior high was bad
Port Lavaca resident Betty Louise Marek, 55, wired money from Houston to an undercover FBI agent she thought was a hit man, hoping he would off her 70-year-old ex-boyfriend and his new 66-year-old girlfriend.
Even Jenny Jones nixed him as a guest
A Tanglewood man sentenced to jail for indecency with children would persuade boys to wear diapers by taking them to a La Porte bay house and telling them a tall tale about a man decapitated during a boating accident, whose headless body swam in search of his son and would kill anyone who got in his way -- except for kids dressed as infants.
Yeah, the well-known Dracula phase
When Stephen James, who slept in a coffin and posed as a vampire, was tried for having sex with an underage girlfriend, he bragged in a taped phone call about sucking women's blood and complained that paying for an abortion would deprive him of Christmas money. His mother testified that he had gone through a phase.
Works every time
Male teacher's aide Paulino Martinez got probation for tricking a 15-year-old boy into having sex with him dozens of times by persuading him to don a blindfold, then posing as a pregnant college cheerleader named Martha.
She claimed Martha did it
Teenager Joynetta Blaine was charged with trying to cut off her 34-year-old boyfriend's penis while they were having sex.
At least he didn't tell her his name was Martha
Faith healer Raul "Brujo" Castillo was arrested on charges of convincing a 16-year-old girl that she could escape a curse on her spirit by having sex with him.
He had always considered Bushwick Bill a role model
Houston rap artist Shawn Adams, known as "Black Capone," was sentenced to six life sentences for taking part in a Pearland home invasion in which a woman was shot in the face.