Diana Ross and the Supremes

So Diana Ross has come out of hiding to assert herself as the Diva to Bitch-Slap All Other Divas. Did she do it to bring some class back to divadom? Possibly. Mariah now walks around half-butt-nekkid like she just dropped off the pages of Barely Legal. Whitney has apparently resorted to medical narcotics (translation: some killa weed) to make her forget she's married to Ike Turner Lite. And Ross was fortunate enough to personally jiggle Lil' Kim's nearly bare titty at last year's MTV Video Music Awards. For whatever reason, Ross has decided to pack up her wigs, scoop up an easy $15 million and go back on the road with the Supremes. Diva Divine.

But there's that one problem: The Supremes on tour with Ross aren't the original Supremes. One of the founding members, Mary Wilson, as well as longtime Supreme Cindy Birdsong (who joined after Florence Ballard quit), got pissed at the $3 million offer, so Ross will be singing with Scherrie Payne and Linda Laurence, who joined after Ross left the group in 1969. So fans won't be getting the supreme Supremes. Fans will be getting the Curly Joe Supremes, the Newman Supremes, the guy-in-red-on-Star Trek Supremes.

But let's face it. This tour ain't about the Supremes. It's about Diana's coming out to let the world, and all its divas, know she ain't dead yet and can still be flawlessly vainglorious. For $250 a pop, she better be.

Diana Ross and the Supremes perform Wednesday, June 28, at Compaq Center, 10 Greenway Plaza. Tickets are $21 to $251.25. The show starts at 8 p.m. For more information, call (713)629-3700.