Surf on to the U.K. e-zine known as urban75 (www.urban75.org) and tap the page called "warp a superstar DJ." Here, underground dance fans who feel they have been screwed by "rich tossers turning up for ten minutes and then swanning off to count their money" can slap or facially disfigure the popular turntablist of their choice. Among the well-known and allegedly overinflated: Carl Cox, Fatboy Slim, Paul Oakenfold and Seb Fontaine, who will be in town to perform and hype up the latest volume of his Prototype series (Global Underground). Stateside followers aren't likely to feel slighted by the British-born Fontaine. After all, we don't have the luxury of getting fed up with overseas DJs when they pop off to do a little something for the people across the pond. By the way, Fontaine'smother was a club DJ in Ibiza, where little Seb first learned to spin. If that doesn't make you feel old, nothing will.