Tommy Lee

You have to hand it to that Tommy Lee. He knows exactly who pays the freight (namely, teenage boys with perpetual boners), and he has no problem with that legacy. For his tenure with Mötley Crüe, Lee is remembered less as a talented drummer (which he is) than the one who wore a leather G-string and chugged a bottle of fake Jack on stage. Recently on VH1, Lee discussed his career with the band, of course not mentioning the music, which at times was better than other hair-farmer bands of that ilk. Instead, he focused on his greatest hits (of acid) and the girls, girls, girls. Now, with his PR minions working overtime to distance him from his time spent in the slammer for whacking on Pamela Anderson, he's trying desperately to stay relevant to the new crop of 14-year-olds who like Godsmack and Linkin Park. Go to Lee's official Web site, www.tommylee.tv, and you quickly link over to Playboy -- there's our Tommy snapping shots of a nude chick for an upcoming issue. And nearly 400 years after the death of Shakespeare, you can see Lee mellifluously describe his romp with five porn stars in the following eloquent terms: "Holy fuck. This is...fuck. This is awesome!" If you look really hard, you'll find out about his recent album, Never a Dull Moment. But nothing sums up his raison d'être, kids, more than typing www.tommylee.com into your computer, expecting to find the Tommy Lee Web site. Don't try this at work or on mom's computer. You won't find any mention of him whatsoever, but you will find lots of beaver shots and bimbos doing their best Lewinsky impersonation. Never a dull moment, indeed.