Bashing Bush

The Chronicle's film critic doubles as a pinko commie naysayer

Something was breaking, but we're not sure it was news.

Lorena Bobbitt, Editor

A recent New York Times story on comedian Sarah Silverman offers valuable insight into the philosophy of Chronicle editing. The story ran in the August 4 edition of the Times and in the next day's Chronicle.

And, as far as we can tell, it proves:

1. Abortion jokes are fine in the Chronicle. ("I want to get an abortion," Silverman is quoted as saying, "but my boyfriend and I are having trouble conceiving.")

2. Child-molestation jokes? Go right ahead. ("As a teenager I was molested by a doctor, which for a Jewish girl is, you know, so bittersweet.")

3. But whatever you do, DO NOT dare to print the word "penis." Both stories end with Silverman faux-moaning that HBO aired Richard Pryor specials, but won't let her on. "And he's black!" she's quoted as saying. "I'm white and pretty. I don't scare men. I practically have a penis. I should be easy."

Well, she's quoted as saying that in the Times. In the Chron, it was "I don't scare men...I should be easy."

Thank you, Chron editors. If not for your steadfast vigilance, we surely would have come down with the vapors.

Catch It! (Please)

It's been impossible to avoid "Texans Fever" in the media the past few weeks. Wall-to-wall coverage of every ankle sprain, every pass David Carr completes at practice, every thought that occurs to owner Bob McNair, has been the norm.

Houston is just simply fanatically ablaze with obsessive love for everything Texans, we're told over and over again.

Somehow, all this jibes with the large print advertisements and the constant blurbs during preseason games telling us that plenty of good seats are still available for the home opener. Against Dallas, of all teams. We imagine there might even be seats left for the Jacksonville Jaguars game, in that case.

Somehow, these two seeming opposites -- obsessive Texans love and "plenty of good seats available" -- can coexist. We're sure we'll find out how someday, whenever McNair delivers his spin on it.

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