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Depp's of the Sea

In Johnny and the crew's slick and handsome Pirates of the Caribbean, more is somehow less

Depp and Bloom are aswash in predictable action.
Elliott Marks
Depp and Bloom are aswash in predictable action.

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Rated PG-13

If you're up for rich atmosphere, copious money shots and decorative talent, Pirates won't disappoint you. But before setting sail, its creators should have refreshed themselves with another Python project from '83, Terry Gilliam's short Crimson Permanent Assurance -- an allegorical gem in which accountants turn pirates and sail their building around, committing atrocities. A similar scourge seems to have afflicted Pirates of the Caribbean, only behind the scenes, aggressively, very much without the press kit's hard-sell suggestion of "an irreverent wink."

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