Texas and Mary Cutrufello's new home state of Minnesota are bizarro mirror images of one another. Minnesotans pay high taxes for lots of services, and we don't want none o' that big gummint stuff. It's cold there, and it's not here. We both talk real funny, but in completely different ways. Our twin cities -- Dallas-Forth Worth -- highjacked the North Stars from Minneapolis-St. Paul and renamed them the South Stars. We each share a long border with a foreign country that is the opposite of the other. About all we have truly in common is I-35 and a love of barbecuing, though we smoke beef over wood and they sizzle brats over propane fires. Oops, more bizarro stuff. Anyway, Mary's coming back -- band of northlanders in tow -- for one night only at Rudz, and since she doesn't have a new album out and everybody already knows who she is, we thought we'd wax a little idiotically philosophical just so we could get the word out about the gig. Come on out to the early show (9:30-11:30 p.m.) and party like it's 1995.