Jaheim and Javier

For the record, Jaheim and Javier are not a Brazilian samba duo. They are two hot, young, studly, well-hung R&B new-jacks on the rise. (Don't quote us on that "well-hung" thing -- we were just going with the flow.)

But even given all that and also that they're both black and have names that start with the same first two letters, they do have some diverse qualities that distinguish one from the other. With two albums in, Jaheim has already established himself among Top 40 soul fans, while Javier is still the new kid in school. What's more, it's kind of a leather-and-lace thing.

Jaheim is the thuggiest of the thug troubadours, a fellow stalker of the mean streets alongside talented playas like Tyrese and Dave Hollister. He possesses all the R&B bad-boy accoutrements: the sagged pants with one leg rolled up, the wife-beater shirt, the ice around his neck and wrists, and a deep, church-bred voice that propels tracks with titles like "Me and My Bitch" and "Ghetto Love." Javier also sports a wife-beater, but that's as thugged out as he gets. Usually armed with an acoustic guitar, Javier comes from that sweet-natured, sensitive soul camp that bred young cats like Donell Jones. The songs in his arsenal have titles like "Beautiful U R" and "Song for Your Tears." He certainly isn't the type of guy who would wax poetic about his "bitch."

Yes, indeedy. Javier is the kind of nice, safe brotha your parents would approve of. But secretly you would desire a dangerous dude like Jaheim. You would want him to take you away in his Jeep, 50 Cent bumping through the Alpines, as you head off to a dark, secluded area where you can hop in the backseat and ride him like Debra Winger on the mechanical bull in Urban Cowboy, while you scream, "Take me, Jaheim, you Mandingo warrior!"

Excuse us. Once again, we were just going with the flow.