Scoring the Super Bowl

Song:For Elway, "Smooth Operator," by Sade. Elway retired with a grace seldom matched. For Robinson, "Take a Walk on the Wild Side," by Lou Reed.

2000:St. Louis 23, Tennessee 16

Story:Kevin Dyson's reach for the goal line comes up a foot or two short, denying Bud Adams the championship title he so richly does not deserve.

Song:"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For," by U2

2001: Baltimore 34, New York Giants 7

Story:Ray Lewis, fresh from his trial on charges of murdering two men after the previous Super Bowl, leads a withering Ravens defense.

Song:Lewis is the scariest dude in the NFL, so we'll go with the Geto Boys' "Mind of a Lunatic," perhaps still the scariest rap tune ever.

2002:New England 20, St. Louis 17

Story:Tom Brady coolly leads the Pats on a late drive that results in a game-winning field goal.

Song:The Brady Bunch theme

2003: Tampa Bay 48, Oakland 21

Story:Oakland's Rich Gannon throws a record five interceptions as the Tampa defense carries the day. Admitted alcoholic Oakland center Barret Robbins misses the game after vanishing on a Tijuana bender.

Song:"Oops, I Did It Again," by Britney Spears. Actually, that works both for Gannon and Robbins, but then a better song for Robbins would be "Tonight the Bottle Let Me Down."

2004: Carolina vs. New England.

Story:Remains to be seen.

Song:We're gonna raid the Geto Boys canon again, because we, like them, truly believe our "City's Under Siege."