Mushroomhead, and Dope

Oof, tough times for nü-metal these days, huh? Skinny, Schmotz, Pig Benis and the rest of the Cleveland octet Mushroomhead may be feeling a bit like Joey, Jordan, Donnie, Danny and Jon circa 1992, but that just won't stop these masked, malevolent misfits, these pied pipers of punk-thrash provocation, from soldiering onward for their small but rabidly loyal following. Ask any devotee and they'll maintain with every beer- and weed-polluted breath that the mighty 'Head was around long before the 'Knot or the 'Vayne. That's true: The band has been rockin' the jumpsuits and bondage-cum-gas mask headgear -- and riffing off the sounds of Gwar, Faith No More and Ministry -- for 12 years and counting. But they're still the Jack in the Box to Slipknot's McDonald's.

Dope, on the other hand, is like an E. coli-infested burger joint that inexplicably doesn't get shuttered by the health department. These clowns-without-makeup were nü-metal bottom feeders even during the genre's heyday with their recycled aggro licks, laughably faux-nihilistic barking and Korn hairdos, and since then they've only managed to get worse. Bassist Sloane "Mosey" Jentry appears to be the smartest of the bunch -- he quit the band five days before this tour. Here's hoping his former compadres soon follow suit.