Today swinging couples from all over the nation will, um, converge at Live Oak Resort for Hedo-Fest '04, a four-day festival of nudity, networking and gang-banging. "Hedo-Fest '04 is a gathering of open-minded couples interested in exploring their sexuality in a secure, private resort," says Larry Hilderbrand, one of the owners of Live Oak, the largest clothing-optional resort in Texas. Bounce-friendly events like nude volleyball should keep things on the up-and-up, but try not to exert yourself too much during the day. You want to be ready for the all-night toga parties. John Belushi never had it so good. 5 p.m. today, through Sunday, April 25. 9751 Lone Star Road in Washington. For information, call 936-878-2216 or visit www.liveoakresort.com. $150 per couple per day; $350 per couple for all four days.
Okay, last night was a big mistake. You thought you and your beloved could handle a little experimentation, a little spice, but you were dead wrong. Now you're driving back to town, with lips closed, eyes straight ahead, wondering if your relationship can ever be the same. But before you get out your cell phone and start making calls to your therapist (or your lawyer), you should step back and put things in perspective. Head down to G-town and check out the East-End Theatre Company's production of Sam Shepard's Fool for Love. It's all about a half-brother and half-sister who hang out in a hotel room, talk about their folks and, um, let's just say they take sibling bonding to a new level. After seeing this play together, maybe you and your lover can go to bed with clear consciences. After all, at least all those people from Hedo-Fest weren't related to you. 8 p.m. today. Through May 9. 2001 Postoffice in Galveston. For a full schedule, call 409-762-3556 or visit www.islandetc.com. $17 to $45.
Danish director Lone Sherfig made a name for himself on the international cinema scene with Italian for Beginners, a tale of loneliness and romance. Now he's back with the story of two brothers, Harbour and Wilbur, who must cope with the death of their father. Harbour starts looking for love while Wilbur, well, Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself. The film opens today at 11:50 a.m. Angelika Film Center, 510 Texas. For information, call 713-333-3456 or visit www.angelikafilmcenter.com. $8.
Saturday, April 24
The folks of Bobbindoctrin Puppet Theatre are freaks -- and that's why we love them so. You can help support the noble cause of bizarre puppetry tonight at Bobbindoctrin's Forsaken Carny, an evening of beers, hot dogs, fire dancers and live music. Dress code, of course, is bumpkin casual. 8 p.m. Commerce Street Artists Warehouse, 2315 Commerce. For information, call 713-526-7434 or visit www.bobbindoctrin.org. $20.
Or, if imitating modern-day drifters isn't really your thing, head over to Gallery Row on Colquitt for a night of art openings. New Gallery (713-520-7053) presents "Gordon Terry: Black Holes, Bohemians, Colonials, and Boudoirs," an exhibition of paintings awash in swirls of color. Over at Hooks-Epstein Galleries (713-522-0718), you'll get "Blown," a display of contemporary art glass sure to please any stoner in the group. Moody Gallery (713-526-9911) brings it with "Dark Horse," a selection of works by Helen Altman, while John Cleary Gallery (713-524-5070) presents the photography of Jeffrey Conley in "Earth Elements." And don't forget Goldesberry Gallery (713-528-0405), where ceramic works by Sharon Dennard are being billed as "Exercises of the Soul." With five openings on one street at the same time, you might finally be able to catch a buzz from those little cups of wine. 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. 2600 block of Colquitt. Free.
Sunday, April 25
We love MacGyver. That dude could take a roll of duct tape and turn it into a helicopter. You can tap into your own inner handyman/secret-agent today at Project Row Houses for Worldwide Pinhole Photography Day. With a mere one-quart can, you'll devise a low-tech device for tracking the moves of the enemy. Afterward, the results will be submitted to the organizers of WPPD by means of a high-tech network of wires and cables, code name: the Internet. No duct tape required. Noon. 2500 Holman. For information, call 713-526-7662 or visit www.pinholeday.org. Free.
Monday, April 26
How long's it been since you called in sick? Well, partner, that's too long. Mondays are much better when they come on Tuesdays, so muffle your voice, start hacking, whisper an excuse to your boss and hit the Houston Zoo. That's right, the zoo. The fresh air will do you good, and this time of year the heat hasn't quite hit, so both you and the animals can come out and play. If you're lucky, you just might get to see a newborn elephant. Shanti, the zoo's 13-year-old Asian elephant, has been overdue for a couple of weeks. The folks at the zoo tell us that her blood serum contains 0.58 nanograms of progesterone per millimeter. We have no idea what the hell that means, but they assure us it's a sign that her big-eared babe could pop out any day now. 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily. 1513 North MacGregor. For information, call 713-533-6500 or visit www.houstonzoo.com. $3 to $7.