Perfect Fit

Metro's new president already has a Houston attitude

Members of the media were out in full force for the "operation," which HPD insists was not a raid. Told to show up at 61 Riesner at one in the morning, they waited a couple of hours before getting the chance to film new Police Chief Harold Hurtt in action.

"It was even more of a dog-and-pony show than usual," says one journalist who covered the evening's entertainment. "Just some low-income drinkers -- there's no political repercussions there, for sure."

Unlike in some of the classier after-hours clubs, where we suppose no one at all is drunk. No, You're Paranoid

It's a little early to declare a winner in the Understatement of the Year contest, but we definitely have a leader in the clubhouse.

It comes from the April 21 memo filed by federal prosecutors against Enron indictee Jeff Skilling. Prosecutors claim Skilling violated his bond by getting drunk in New York, brawling with bystanders he claimed were with the FBI and lifting a woman's blouse to see if she was wearing a hidden microphone.

Noting that New York cops originally thought Skilling was mentally unbalanced, the prosecutors told the judge that such a snap judgment should not be criticized in hindsight: "The police found it peculiar," they wrote, "to come across a man alleging falsely that he was being followed throughout the night by undercover FBI agents and speaking to the sky in an apparent attempt to be picked up by unseen FBI surveillance cameras."

They found that unusual? Wow, Manhattan. You've changed, man.

But come on, NYPD -- Skilling wasn't wearing aluminum foil on his head or anything.

We do have to admit, his delusions are beginning to make us doubt that he left Enron (just before the collapse) to spend more time with his family. But our faith is strong.

Help Wanted

For the past year or so, there's been grumbling about a high-profile effort to force an election on a charter amendment that would cap city revenue increases, requiring voter approval for additional hikes in property taxes, water and sewer charges, and other city fees. Now it looks more than ever like it will happen.

Hartman Management, the giant real estate company owned by charter proponent Al Hartman, has put out a help-wanted ad for someone "to organize, target and motivate voters" to support the proposal. "Familiarity with 'Let the People Vote' ideal!" is, complete with exclamation point, listed as a valuable asset.

That "Let the People Vote" crap means we'll have to endure yet another self-righteous campaign (by the people who brought you term limits) that will argue that voters should be allowed to vote on these things because they don't like the actions of people they elected to vote on them.

We're sure the folks at KSEV-AM will take time out from disparaging John Kerry's war record in order to spend countless hours on this.

The job pays "high 40s -- low 50s," the ad says. Ability to keep a straight face required.

This Time, For the Ladies

Last week we offered our graphic-design services in our effort to pump up revenues for Governor Rick Perry's $5 "sin tax" on anyone who enters a gentlemen's club. But as every cliché writer knows, it takes two to tango, not to mention lap-dance. So we're not limiting our efforts to just the guys. We expect this poster to be up at every changing room at Treasures or Rick's or The Men's Club…or wherever there's a dancer who appreciates that public education got her where she is today.

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