Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings with Waxploitation DJs

What follows is a verbatim transcript of a stage introduction of 44-year-old Sharon Jones, the deep funk revivalist and former prison guard from James Brown's hometown of Augusta G-A. Imagine hearing this delivered by her bandleader over a bacon-fat-greasy, bass-driven, sax-honkin' J.B.'s-style track from about 1971…

"Right now for your enjoyment and pleasure we would like to introduce to you the funky and dynamic sister who is exciting dance floors across the nation with her dynamic new sound. Soul brothers and soul sisters from coast to coast would get up and get down whenever her records would get played. They doin' all the funky new dances! They doin' the bump-and-tuck…They doin' the dap-dip…They doin' everything! Ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about 110 pounds of soul excitement comin' for you. This sister is so bad, she's badder than bad! I'm talkin' about the same sister that brought you such hits as 'The Landlord,' 'Damn It's Hot,' 'Ain't It Hard'…And now, ladies and gentleman, the star of our show…The super soul sister with the magnetic je ne sais quoi! Miss Sharon Jones! Miss Sharon Jones! Miss Sharon Jones!"

You can pretty much picture what's gonna come next after that -- an hour or so of high-energy soul-funk pandemonium of the highest order, the kind that leaves you exalted, sanctified, drenched in sweat and craving barbecue and beer. If you're a James Brown or Lee Fields fan, Jones will take you there, too.