Sign Language

Traffic problems? One woman's novel guide to getting city action

What with the official Day of Reagan Mourning being Friday, June 11, and no updates probable until at least the following Monday, that means another weekend blown. So to speak.

Stunning Figures

The Houston school district's new Code of Conduct for students gets even tougher on misbehaving students who are sent to disciplinary-alternative schools. It also makes clear, for the first time, that stun guns are banned on HISD campuses.

Show Me Some ID: A federal appeals court 
ruled recently that Houston can begin enforcing its law 
requiring "adult entertainers" to display their city 
licenses while dancing. Clubs and businesses have 
vowed to appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court, putting off 
any enforcement for the moment, but it's clear that 
dancers should begin thinking of just how best to sport 
their badges. If ever a situation cried out for a nipple 
ring, this is it.
Show Me Some ID: A federal appeals court ruled recently that Houston can begin enforcing its law requiring "adult entertainers" to display their city licenses while dancing. Clubs and businesses have vowed to appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court, putting off any enforcement for the moment, but it's clear that dancers should begin thinking of just how best to sport their badges. If ever a situation cried out for a nipple ring, this is it.

Has this become a burgeoning problem in HISD? Have there been stun-gun shootouts in cafeterias across the city, with rival gangs Tasering each other over the chicken nuggets, hapless sixth-graders writhing and twitching on the ground as a bunch of eighth-grade bullies laugh at the little baby crying because he has 100,000 volts cruising through him?

Well, no. Not exactly. There's never been a reported incident of a student using a stun gun on an HISD campus, spokesman Terry Abbott says. In fact, he adds, "I know of only a couple of occasions where children brought stun guns to campus."

He says the code change is still needed, however, because stun guns are not illegal, so there was no specific language in the HISD code banning them from campus.

Of course, HISD is already one of those districts slavishly worshiping the zero-tolerance god, where kids have even been expelled for displaying a gun-shaped cigarette lighter. Academic careers are not yet threatened if you point your finger and leave your thumb up -- so your hand looks like a gun! -- but it's getting there.

Given that, we actually sort of assumed stun guns were already frowned upon.

At any rate: Remember, kids, before you Taser that smug jerk whose mom helped her win the science fair -- wait until she's off campus. Then fire away.

No Help Needed

Fed up with George W. Bush? Want to volunteer for the John Kerry campaign here in Houston?

Good luck. Don't let the doorknob hit you on the way out.

One Houston mother tells Hair Balls she wanted to introduce her preteen and a couple of his friends to the political process by the time-honored tradition of envelope-stuffing and block-walking. So she found a number for the Kerry campaign's Houston headquarters and dialed, no doubt expecting open arms for an actual volunteer here in alleged Bush Country.

"Umm," she was told by a clearly taken-aback staffer. "We don't really have a lot of room here." Not to mention "I don't really know what volunteers could do" (Whaaat?) and abject horror at the thought of preteens running around.

Democrats, be of stout heart -- the John Kerry machine is clearly firing on all cylinders.

The mom, who didn't want her name used, was directed to the Harris County Democratic Party, where indeed they were very glad to have her and her crew.

It turns out Kerry's office here deals only with fund-raising calls to bigfoot financial types. "It's just dialing for dollars over there," says Harris County Democratic chair Gerry Birnberg.

And all you grassroots types can just stay the hell away, apparently.

« Previous Page
 |
 
1
 
2
 
All
 
My Voice Nation Help
0 comments
 
Houston Concert Tickets

Around The Web

Loading...