This summer, the folks at Stages Repertory Theatre are bringing back the 1996 off-Broadway relationship romp, I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change!They're lauding the play as a musical about "everything you've thought about dating, mating and romance but were afraid to admit." And apparently lots of guys have been afraid to admit they're ready to walk the plank: At regional performances around the country, the show has apparently caused dozens of weird men to jump up on stage and propose to their poor, poor girlfriends. Shameless onstage proposals aside, in the hackneyed world of heterosexual love dramas, I Love You manages to stray from cliché and hit a nerve -- or, rather, an organ -- and that has kept it running longer than any other off-Broadway musical. More than 60 roles are portrayed by a handful of actors in the musical. The action takes place in episodic spurts, running the gamut of every aspect of male-female relationships, from courting to dating to marriage to -- you guessed it -- divorce. The play opens at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, July 14. Through September 12. 3201 Allen Parkway. For a full schedule, call 713-527-0123 or visit www.stagestheatre.com. $25. -- Tyler Smith
Maria Chavez ain't your typical DJ
It's too bad Maria Chavez didn't live in Chicago in 1979, for it was there that the death of disco occurred when thousands of people participated in a mass burning of records at Comiskey Park. We're not implying that Chavez has anything against disco, mind you; this former club DJ just happens to love effed-up records. Seriously. The gal'll do just about anything to a platter and put it back on the turntable for the sake of avant-garde sounds -- warp it, break it, whatever. And then there are her needles: bent, broken, worn down to a nub. You can groove to her circular rhythms this weekend at Super Happy Fun Land, where she'll provide the beats for pedal-steel guitarist Susan Alcorn and violinist-violist Rose Lange. Check out the improvisational noodling at 8 p.m. Sunday, July 11. 2610 Ashland. For information, call 713-880-2100 or visit www.superhappyfunland.com. $6 to $10. -- Keith Plocek
Juan a Bone?
Commercials for the boner pill Cialis suggest you should seek medical attention if the effects last longer than four hours. But what about 400 years? In the adult comedy Don Juan in Chicago, our hero makes a deal with the devil in 1599. He enjoys immortality as long as he can bed a different woman every night. By 1999, our boy is a bit exhausted. And it doesn't help things when he seduces a woman with a seriously jealous boyfriend. The screwing around starts at 8 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays, July 8 through 17. Theatre One at Houston Community College, 3517 Austin. For information, call 713-718-6579. $5 to $8. -- Bob Ruggiero
To his fans, comedian Nick DiPaolo's somewhat misogynistic, racist, right-of-center and belligerent humor is just plain addictive. His New York-Italian "What, do I amuse you?" shtick has nabbed him regular television gigs and even an Emmy for comedy writing. Let the tough guy amuse you at 8:30 p.m. Thursday, July 8. Through Saturday, July 10. The Laff Stop, 1952 West Gray. For a full schedule, call 713-524-2333 or visit www.laffstop.com. $15 to $18. -- Steven Devadanam