Thursday, July 22
Billy Gardell was an overweight kid with a tough upbringing in Pittsburgh and Central Florida. So the chubster took up comedy to make light of his situation. He was almost an instant hit on the comedy circuit, scoring gigs in clubs before he was old enough to drink. He brings his blue-collar show to the Laff Spot this week, where you can expect a lot of honest, self-deprecating humor. That, and he just might make fun of you, too. 8 p.m. today and Sunday, July 25; 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday, July 23 and 24. 17776 Tomball Parkway. For information, call 281-955-9200 or visit www.laffspot.com. $12.
Friday, July 23
There's just something to be said for a one-act play. You jump right into the action and barrel straight toward the denouement. Theatre Southwest's Festival of Originals features five one-act scripts, with five directors and five casts. There's The Wait, by J.D. Porto; The Dead Salesman, by Mark De Chiazza; Chrysalis, by Ed Vela; Ophelia Rocks, by Melrose Fougere; and Members of the Club, by Carl Williams. This show should be perfect for our ADD generation. Now what were we talking about? 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, through August 7. Marie Pearsall Theatre, 8944A Clarkcrest. For information, call 713-661-9505 or visit www.theatresouthwest.org. $12.
And then you've got Sophistaphunk Fridays over at the Underground Lounge. Hosted by V-Zilla and Friends, this weekly event features hip-hop DJs Ish, Witnes and A-Wax on the decks. Plus, you never know who's going to step up and toast the mike. Hop to the hip sounds from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. 804 Fannin. For information, call 713-225-0948 or visit www.vzilla.com. $5 to $7.
Saturday, July 24
Sure, you and your sweetie have a lot in common. You both like the same things, you have the same beliefs, and you just get along so well. But hey, neither one of you is a psychic, so you'd better make sure the stars agree with your relationship. Today psychic Kim O'Neill is using her "ability" at a workshop on relationship channeling, where she can tell you if you're with Mr. or Ms. Right. If you're really secure in your relationship, then this could be good fun. If you're not too sure about your love and are looking to O'Neill for confirmation, then it probably wasn't meant to be anyway. 7:30 p.m. to 10 p.m. CenterPoint, 1920 Hollister. For information, call 713-932-7224. $30.
Or maybe you don't even want to know what some psychic thinks about you and yours. You're ready to get married, dammit. Then head over to the Bridal Extravaganza Show at the George R. Brown Convention Center. Featuring more than 500 companies, this event provides one-stop shopping for all your wedding needs. Invitations? Check. Caterer? Check. Dress? Check. Prenup? Um, you might want to call ahead about that one. 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. today; and 11 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Sunday, July 25. 1001 Avenida de las Americas. For information, call 281-340-7777 or visit www.bridalextravaganzashow.com. $8 to $9.
Sunday, July 25
The minute we hear the word "lowrider," we can't help but start humming the War tune of the same name: "Take a little trip / Take a little trip / Take a little trip with me." That shit's just catchy as hell. Today all the lowriders gonna drive real fast over to Reliant Arena for the Lowrider Evolution Tour. Presented by none other than Lowrider magazine, this event features customized cars, trucks, SUVs, bicycles and tricycles. It takes some nerve to pimp out a trike. Órale. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. 8400 Kirby. For information, call 713-769-7474 or visit www.lowridermagazine.com. $30.
Monday, July 26
Now that some random psychic royally effed up your relationship last Saturday, you can consider yourself newly single. Don't worry, you're not alone. Well, actually, you are alone, but at least there are other people who are just like you. Today is International Newly Single Meetup Day, and you can meet up with other Houston singles today at 8 p.m. at an undecided location. (Talk about an inability to commit.) Get on the Net and visit newlysingle.meetup.com/196 to cast your vote for a location. Free.
Tuesday, July 27
We love bingo. And we're not talking about hipster bingo on Monday nights at the Continental Club. That's cool, no doubt, but we love real bingo, with elderly men and women sitting around, smoking cigarette after cigarette as they wait to win big. It's like a live version of a Diane Arbus photograph. You get to see the heartland of America, not to mention a lot of heart disease in the making. Play the real deal at the Knights of Columbus Bingo Hall at 7 p.m. Tuesdays through Thursdays; 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. Fridays; 7 p.m. Saturdays; and 3 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. Sundays. 8001-U South Kirkwood. For information, call 281-498-7036 or visit www.bingohouston.com. Free.
Wednesday, July 28
A fob is a pocket you put your watch in. A FOB, on the other hand, is someone who's fresh off the boat, as in an Indo-Pak immigrant who hasn't quite assimilated to American culture. Your Levi's fifth pocket is a fob. Sai Ranade is a FOB. Ranade takes the stage tonight for Indians at the Improv, an evening of comedy by people of East Indian origin. "Good stand-up happens on the edges," he says. "Stand-up works when an outsider looks in or an insider looks out." He will be joined by Paul Varghese and several other performers, including Houston Press assistant Night & Day editor Steven Devadanam. That's right: One of our own is taking the stage to try to make you laugh. Show him your appreciation by throwing gifts at him when he takes the stage. We know for a fact the man loves tomatoes. 8:30 p.m. The Improv, 7620 Katy Freeway. For information, call 713-333-8800 or visit www.improv.com. $12.