Pretty Please, Tilman

Houston's Donald Trump can't be bothered with paperwork

Editor Seton Motley wrote to subscribers in what he called a "humble missive," describing his publication's high ethical standards about the security of e-mail information. "Regrettably, someone with whom we have been working does not adhere to the same behavioral standards," he wrote. "More unfortunate still, that person was the one in charge of hosting and maintaining our e-mail list."

"More unfortunate still"? That's kind of like saying, "Regrettably, someone on this plane does not know how to fly. More unfortunate still, he is our pilot."

Motley says TexasDigest.com has "severed all ties" with the person involved.

...and Jeff Skilling. (See catty comments below.)
...and Jeff Skilling. (See catty comments below.)

Deport Me, Please

Haki Danaj is an Albanian immigrant who just doesn't understand the concept of a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. As hard as the state and federal government have tried to ensure he doesn't get punished much for his manslaughter conviction, they just can't get the job done.

Danaj was released on parole in March after serving less than two years. Johnny Halili of San Leon, the victim's brother, had worked in vain with his wife to get the federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement department to send Danaj back to Albania. Halili's wife, Lisa, pestered immigration officials with dozens of phone calls, but was told nothing could be done.

Danaj, though, couldn't handle his success. He failed to report to a halfway house and then was caught skulking around an elementary school.

He thus revealed an interesting insight into the thinking of the immigration service: Kill a guy by manslaughter? No need to deport you. Head to a Catholic grammar school and pull an "Aqualung"? (Come on, you know it: "Sitting on a park bench / eyeing little girls with bad intent…") You are so out of here.

Danaj was shipped to Jefferson County, where he'll be jailed until an immigration judge decides whether to deport him.

Lisa Halili isn't resting easy, though. She says she's seen the Galveston County Sheriff's Department let Danaj flee the country once before; she's seen the county's D.A. cut the lenient plea deal.

"I know how lucky this guy is," she says. "Something is going to happen. His paperwork won't show up, or the judge will say, 'He didn't do this.' It'll just be my luck."

In which case, she should start scouting grammar schools. Danaj is definitely a guy who can't take "yes" for an answer.

Cuffs Are In Fashion

Houston has been awash in perp walks lately, thanks to those fun folks at Enron. Whether you're being arraigned or heading to prison, you're going to be surrounded by photogs and reporters. Who displayed the best catwalk style on their big day? We asked OutSmart magazine's fashion maven Thomas Blanton to go all Joan Rivers on their respective asses:

Lea Fastow -- "The saddest thing about the whole Monica Lewinsky scandal was that frumpy blue outfits went completely out of style. We all owe a debt to Lea Fastow for bringing the 'ready to be soiled by an Arkansas Democrat' look back to the fashion forefront. But what's up with that collar? Is it an homage to The Flying Nun? Maybe she's hoping a strong wind will come along and she can hang-glide her way to freedom."

Ken Lay -- "My mother used to tell me that you should always own a good navy-blue blazer, because you never know when a formal occasion or an indictment is going to crop up. So snaps to Mr. Lay for being style-prepared. I'm not amused that he didn't have the decency to iron his pants before turning himself in, but maybe he thought that would help him out once he got to the big house. It's like, 'Look, fellows! I'm rumpled! I have street cred!' You're going to be a feeder pet in the prison food chain, my friend."

Jeff Skilling -- "Why no tie? The government agents dragging him away are wearing ties. Ken Lay wore a tie. Even the photographers who snapped these pictures were probably wearing ties. Without any color to break up the black suit and the white shirt, he looks like a penguin. A bitter, fraudulent penguin. I think he's going for a laid-back, casual-Friday kind of look, but it just falls short. Which reminds me: Jeff, think about lifts."

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