Wigged Gigs

"They left their cell phone here, too. They called, like, an hour after they left and asked if they left it here. I said, 'Yeah, you wanna come back and get it?' And they were like, 'Nah, you keep it.' "

We're left with this touching tale from local Americana chanteuse Lise Liddell about a woman drunk on love. Well, love and about nine martinis.

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"About seven years ago I had a gig at Ovations," she recalls. "John Lassen was my lead guitar player. Some chick got hosed out of her mind and approached the stage, which at that time was about five feet off the ground. She had apparently fallen instantaneously, madly in love with John. Somehow she managed to grab hold of his guitar cord.

"She began to use the cord as a sort of rappelling rope to hoist herself up on the stage in order to get closer to her object of crazed desire. About the time that her torso had made it up onto the stage, her feet dangling and her arms sprawling, John pulled the cord from his guitar and scrammed his ass off the stage.

"I tried to ignore all of this crap and kept on singing, until I noticed the bartender mopping the floor right beside me. I was making some sarcastic remark that the club must not be overly impressed with my show if some dude was mopping during my song, when the dude informed me that the drunk chick had barfed all over the stage. The only saving grace was that I had not witnessed her throwing up, as this would have, I am sure, triggered my own pukefest."