Thursday, October 14
David Crumpis either a true-to-form Renaissance man or a guy with multiple personalities. Crump, who teaches law at the University of Houston, is also a baseball player and a guitarist in a rock band who's worked as an assistant district attorney, an aerospace engineer and an economist. Oh, and he's a poet. Crump just released a tome called A Miltonic Sonnet About Being Given the Game Ball After a Play in Right Field. And as a timely tie-in to the Astros' playoff run, he'll be signing and discussing his anthology of 51 "modern poems" tonight at Home Plate Bar and Grill, just across from Minute Maid Park. 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. 1800 Texas. For information, call 713-526-7434 or visit www.law.uh.edu/faculty. Free.
Friday, October 15
You know that ultratrendy couple who are always bragging about their gorgeous downtown loft with the marble floors, 30-foot ceilings and pristine city view? Don't you just hate them? Take some notes at tonight's Six in the City 2004 Home Tour, where you'll visit six luxurious downtown pads, including ones at the Post Rice Lofts, the Franklin Lofts and the Commerce Towers. Later, when you're hanging with the Joneses, casually remark upon how their little abode seems to be missing a rooftop garden like they have at Commerce or 100-year-old maple floors like at the Post. 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. today, and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, October 16. Post Rice Lofts, 909 Texas. For information, call 713-658-8938 or visit www.downtownhouston.org. $20 to $25.
While you're downtown, head to the Alley Theatre for Leading Ladies. The guys-in-drag comedy borrows from Shakespeare's Twelfth Nightand the classic flick Some Like It Hot. Set in Amish Pennsylvania, the story follows two down-on-their-luck actors, Jack and Leo, who get wind that a wealthy old woman named Florence is looking for her long-lost heirs. The guys do a little method acting, become the ladies in question and set their sights on the $1 million-apiece inheritance. Things get funky when the guys fall for Florence's niece Meg. See the girl and the guys (as girls) who love her today at 8 p.m. Through November 7. 615 Texas, 713-228-8421, www.alleytheatre.org. $25 to $45.
Saturday, October 16
You gotta love the continuing saga that is the Westheimer Street Festival: Is this the year it'll finally disband? If it survives, will it be moved to Allen Parkway again (a head-scratcher, for sure)? Will those people wearing snakes around their necks ever learn about that novel invention -- the scarf? Still, the spunky, funky mecca of people-watching, Rollerblade jousting and porta-potties is our city's version of the dysfunctional family Thanksgiving dinner. Park your car and take a bus to the intersection of Westheimer and Montrose, where thousands are expected to take in the weekend-long shindig featuring tons of bands on four stages. In a heckling mood? Then squirt a water gun at Joe Devadanam, drummer of rock band Sun Machine, who takes the stage at 2 p.m. Sunday. Noon to 7 p.m. today and Sunday, October 17. For information, visit www.westheimerfestival.com. Free.
If all the unique accessorizing at West Fest has unleashed your inner Armani, head to Reliant Park for the auditions for The Call. CBS is inflicting yet another reality show on the viewing public; the current spin features style guru Tommy Hilfiger, who's looking for tomorrow's hottest fashionista. It's kind of like The Apprentice meets high fashion -- the winner will design his own collection under the Hilfiger label. Maybe Hilfiger will adopt a catchy dispatch line like "You're flared." Here's hoping. 10 a.m. For information, visit www.cbs.com. Free.
Sunday, October 17
Most celebrity appearances boil down to autographs, photo ops and an early exit. But Randall Wallace, the screenwriter behind such flicks as Braveheart and Pearl Harbor, has garnered a reputation for being generous with his time and downright fan-friendly. The filmmaker will hold court for fans and Tinseltown wannabes as he shares his insight on Hollywood, tips on succeeding in life and memories of working with Mel Gibson. If you've been aching to know what Mel was wearing under that kilt, broach the subject with Wallace at 7 p.m. at the Woodlands United Methodist Church, 2200 Lake Woodlands Drive. For information, call 281-297-5926. Free.
Monday, October 18
It's as if Marshall Preddy can read our minds. Knowing exactly why we bitch about catching live shows on weekdays, he's created the Houston Invitational Happy Hourat the Proletariat. "It's everything shows never are," he says. "They're never brief, never free, you have to stand around waiting for each act, and when they go on, they always go on late." Preddy promises a nonstop musical gig that's intimate (it's on the floor, not the stage), cheap (it's free) and quick (it's over at 8 p.m.). This week's lineup includes blues-based noise act White Wait and the pretty pop sounds of the Pirate, the Pegleg and the Penguin (apparently the parrot split because of creative differences). Get happy from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. 903 Richmond. For information, call 713-523-1199 or visit www.chasmatic.com/H3I.htm. Free.
Tuesday, October 19
We're all painfully aware that there's nothing scary about the Halloween freakfests that pop up this time of year. What is scary is how much they charge folks to be chased by plastic-knife-wielding guys in ill-fitting skeleton suits. But if you're hell-bent on this kind of action, we suggest tonight's charity event at Screamworld. The folks at the Furniture Bank will be accepting donations of furniture and household items in exchange for door-prize tickets. And you can venture into Screamworld's three areas of terror: the Haunted Hotel, the Edge of Darkness and Project X. Scare up a costume and scream from 6:30 p.m. to 10 p.m. 2225 North Sam Houston Parkway. For information, call 281-933-8393 or visit www.screamworld.com. $10.