Super Unison Brothers

Ryan Chavez and Andrew Morgan wave good-bye to Hands Up Houston

Hands Up -- as befits a DIY show collective with an anti-establishment streak -- always had strict guidelines regarding their profits. All went either to the bands they booked or back into the group's kitty. By design, nobody could make a living as a Hands Up employee. Chavez is tired of these strictures because he truly loves what his Hands Up duties entail. Now, he wants to be a full-time band booker.

"We're spreading our career-oriented wings," Chavez says. "It's not about us buying a Mercedes--"

"We're not Clear Channel," Morgan puts in.

"--or a BMW," Chavez continues. "We're not trying to buy a mansion, but it would be nice to have this be the only thing we do, at some point. Not today, not tomorrow, not two months from now, but someday. Even now, six or seven years after I started doing shows, I still enjoy it even though I haven't been paid for it."

But what of your punk ethics, gentlemen? Will filthy lucre corrupt you into cynically booking complete shite?

"We can book bands we don't like," Morgan answers flatly. "Large shows featuring bands we're not too stoked about will make us the money we need to book the cool stuff."

"We did that kind of stuff with Hands Up anyway," Chavez says. "Trust me, we're keeping our eyes out for name bands on the way down that we can book. If Dashboard Confessional sinks a little, we'll book 'em. We'll do a show of that nature so we can later book one of our friends who is amazing but unknown, and we can kick him a few hundred bucks."

Scuttlebutt Caboose

The Internet's a wonderful thing. Because all my reviews are archived on there, I get letters from time to time about reviews I'd pretty much forgotten I'd written. This doozy is in response to my trashing of Sleep's Dopesmoker, which was originally published in the October 2, 2003, issue of the Press: "I read your piss-ass review of Dopesmoker today and it pissed me off enough to waste time writing to your faggot ass. Given it's not an album for everyone, bitchy pussies that listen to the Beatles should keep their fruity ass in the closet. I wish Dopesmoker had caused you to stop listening to music, at least then you wouldn't be writing bad reviews about good albums because your taste sucks. If you don't like Sludge, you should not be reviewing a Sludge album. Nuff said. You're a sissy bitch and you should curl up and suck your own dick. Btw, you might want to listen to the album again, your clocking of the solo's etc was way off, and wtf were you talking about ripping off 'Iron Man' … get your ears cleaned you fucking moron."…Paris didn't agree with Willie D. According to Damage Control DJ Matt Sonzala, the Fifth Ward rapper had ensconced his family in a hotel while he awaited the completion of renovations on a rental property. Then things got weird. The concierge warned him to get his kids out of the hotel pool by 10 p.m. because, she said, people were allowed to skinny-dip after that. Matters took a turn for the worse when D. got back to his room and clicked on the TV. "They were showin' fuck movies," he exclaimed to Sonzala. "I called the desk and told 'em I didn't order no fuck movies! The lady told me that's just what's on TV here." Sonzala thought this puritanism a little rich from the man who wrote, among other cuss-laden ditties, "Let a Ho Be a Ho" and told him so. D.'s reply: "Yeah, and you gotta let a kid be a kid, too." Now, D. splits his time between Houston and, of all places, Baku, Azerbaijan, where he is dabbling in the real estate market.

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