Maybe it's nostalgia, maybe it's latent childishness, but we at Night & Day have always adored the saying "Going medieval on (insert name here)'s ass." For us, it conjures up images of Jim Carrey in Cable Guy chasing a hapless Matthew Broderick around a dirt pit in full knight's armor, while stuffed patrons at the Medieval Times restaurant laugh and point. Anyway, the folks at Saint Anne Catholic Church are going medieval on us today with their Medieval Holiday Gala. Despite the title, we're guessing that this is an upscale version of medieval (note to RenFesters, leave the swords at home), though the event promises singers, dancers and instrumentalists in early-English costumes. At the dinner, a kingly feast including boar's head and plum pudding will be served up as a court jester (gotta love the outfit with the bells) entertains and carolers serenade. Tickets for ye olde shindig will go quickly, so grab a sire or damsel and meet the folke from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. St. Basil Hall at Saint Anne Church, 2140 Westheimer. For information, call 713-526-3276 or visit www.saintanne.org.