Stuck up and stodgy? Try studly and sweaty. That's men's tennis for you nowadays, having long shed its cable-knit identity in favor of bicep-baring, neon-wearing superstars. Yes, the ladies get plenty of attention, thanks to toned legs under teensy skirts, but the dudes deserve their share of catcalling -- even if you have to do it under your breath. This weekend's Clay Court Championships bring several of the most dominant, and attractive, players to Houston. Andy Roddick -- who has hammered serves faster than 150 miles per hour, won the tourney in 2001 and 2002 and even dated Mandy Moore -- returns this year. The everlasting and still-sexy Andre Agassi will challenge him, as will defending champion Tommy Haas, whose flowing locks should appease those nostalgic for vintage Agassi. Defending doubles champions Mardy Fish and James Blake return as well.
Fans can check out the full match schedule after the draw on April 15. But the folks at Westside Tennis Club seem to have made some presumptions about their crowd already: April 19 is "Ladies Day" and will feature a fashion show and mini-manicures and pedicures. But we imagine most gals will have their eyes on the balls, beginning at 4 p.m. Monday, April 18. Finals are April 24. 1200 Wilcrest. For information, call 713-783-1620 or visit www.mensclaycourt.com. $30 to $75. -- Julia Ramey
Call for Ballers
Yeah, your buddies talk a lot of smack to you when y'all are playing hoops. But can they bring that game with total strangers? Find out by teaming up with them -- or watching them make asses of themselves -- at the annual Hoop It Up 3on3 tour. At this weekend's regional tournament, the top male, female and coed divisions (kids and adults) will get a shot at the world championships in Orlando on Labor Day weekend. Basic playground rules still apply, with the first team to score 20 points or whoever's ahead after 30 minutes declared the winner. See which street playas score a trip to sunny Florida on Saturday and Sunday, April 16 and 17. Greenspoint Mall, I-45 at Beltway 8. For schedules, information and team registration, call 888-997-7529 or visit www.hoopitup.com. Free for spectators; team registration starts at $130. -- Greg Barr