Take My Wife, Please

TABC nabs a sheriff's spouse in a sting

HPD spokesman Alvin Wright says signs in the street can block traffic. Handing out tickets to parking attendants is part of the overall "mobility initiative" that is targeting jaywalking and bike-riding on downtown sidewalks.

Enforcement at Minute Maid has been sporadic so far. "Sometimes our officers are lenient and just let it go for a while," he says. HPD officials plan to meet with parking-management companies to discuss the rules, Wright says, but no date has been set.

Clampffer says HPD "has decided to ignore common sense," but he gets little sympathy from Wright.

"If they feel they're getting picked on," Wright says, "we need to let them know we have different criteria beginning this year."

And like those craven jaywalkers, yet another scourge of the streets is taken care of. Gang members -- you're still on the list; HPD will get to you sooner or later.

Dirty Joke

Houston City Councilwoman Addie Wiseman's sleeping habits have sparked a minor uproar.

Wiseman, who represents Kingwood, told her colleagues June 29 that she has insomnia. The disclosure was slightly relevant, because council was discussing the mundane renewal of Houston MediaSource's contract to run the city's public-access channel.

Wiseman said she had been up past midnight, turned on the public-access channel and got herself offended by a comedy routine being shown. "Every other word started with the F-word… This went beyond cable programming," she said, thereby declaring herself president of the I Never Watch Deadwood Club.

Who knew the Fucky McFuck Sunshine Hour would be so dirty?

Actually, that's not the name of the show. Wiseman didn't know the name, or the air date, of the program that so offended her. Houston MediaSource couldn't come up with the answer by press time, either.

Council delayed the contract for two weeks in order to prepare for a fortnight's worth of blathering and high dudgeon, on the part of both appalled viewers and First Amendment proponents. The predawn hours of public access -- where, up to now, viewers could no doubt be counted by the half-dozen -- will see a ratings spike.

Wiseman told council she has a background in stand-up comedy, so she knew what she was talking about. She also mentioned how "kids with colds" may be up at night and accidentally see this stuff, so apparently some Robitussin could solve the problem.

Afterward, though, the councilwoman clammed up. Her staffer, Aimee Bertrand, asked that all questions be submitted in writing, so we dutifully e-mailed inquiries about the show, Wiseman's insomnia and her stand-up comedy career.

Bertrand says Wiseman has "chosen not to respond."

But come on -- she didn't mind rambling on at the council meeting. Why can't she answer some follow-up questions? "Part of the right to free speech," Bertrand says, "is having the freedom not to speak."

Frankly, we're offended.

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