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One More for the Road

Local musicians regale us with more tales of woe, joy and debauchery

This time every year, we ask all the bands on our Music Awards ballot about their best, worst and most unusual gig tales. Last year, the inquiry spawned a cover feature, in which we discussed musicians -- many in various states of chemical intoxication -- bleeding, peeing and rioting, among other things, on stages all over town and beyond.

We thought we had all the best ones then, but we just might have been wrong. Since there are a bunch of new bands on this year's ballot, we got tons more stories to tell, so without further ado, here we go:

Arthur Yoria: "In Beaumont at the Vortex a hooker got up and sang with me. Strange thing was, she could really sing. Very nice voice. If they hadn't kicked her out of the place for soliciting the patrons, I would have asked her to do another number." Yoria also recalls traveling all the way to London to play a very small room that was packed all the way to its capacity -- which was five.

Brandon Stanley: "At a festival I played in Clear Lake, I once was asked to announce the free face painting and donkey rides -- in the middle of my set, might I add." Also, after a show at the House of Blues in New Orleans, Stanley went out with some newfound fans. "One of them freaked out all of a sudden and assaulted my CD on Bourbon Street at 2 a.m. Needless to say he was a little intoxicated -- he cried after the fact about how he missed his lost puppy."

A member of Modulatorpassed along this unsettling tale: "On the way to L.A., Ronnie -- our guitarist -- had been complaining about having to urinate very badly. Of course, we eventually stopped along the way to allow him to relieve himself. A day later, while still in L.A., Randy -- our drummer -- was cleaning out the van, when he discovered a water bottle three quarters of the way full with an orangey-yellow liquid. [Singer] Julie remembered Ronnie's bladder issues from the day before, so she immediately turned to look at him to read his face for any signs of guilt. He just looked at her and shrugged his shoulders as if to say, 'Yeah, I did it -- so what?' Of course, she freaked out at the discovery that the group had a vile member within its ranks. Then, a few minutes later, Julie recalled having sprinkled a packet of 'Emergen-C' orange drink into a water bottle the day before, and having never finished drinking it. Once she explained this, everyone breathed a sigh of relief -- everyone but Ronnie. He just laughed in a most disturbing way."

The band also recalls motoring all night long from Little Rock to Dallas through a driving rainstorm, all to play a morning show for five transit workers on their lunch break. "We still brought the rock, and we were rewarded with lots of Krispy Kreme doughnuts."

Miss Leslie and Her Juke Jointers: Miss Leslie recalls Borski's 60th anniversary bash with fondness. "The place was packed, and when we got there at 8 p.m., everyone had been drinking since about noon. After about 15 minutes, a bar fight broke out and somebody got thrown out. Before the end of the night, I'd been proposed to twice. Now that was a party." Not so warmly remembered was this road gig up in Temple: "On the way up, the RV had a tire that was about to blow, so we switched it out with the spare. When we got to the gig, we set up and started practicing a little bit with the substitute bass player. It started sprinkling and then raining a bit. All of a sudden, I heard this weird sound -- I thought there was some feedback coming from one of the amps. No, it was a tornado warning siren going off in the town. I grabbed my fiddle and headed for cover. Ten minutes later the gig was canceled cause there's word that there's a hailstorm about 30 minutes away and that a tornado touched down about ten miles away. We packed up, and 20 minutes outside of town we had a tire blowout. We spent the next three hours trying to find someone to change the tire, but no one had the right size. We spent the night at a rest area in the camper. The funny thing is that it stopped raining after they announced the gig was canceled -- and it never rained again the whole night…By the way, we bought four new tires the next week."

Tody Castillohas a similar tale of Lone Star State road woes: "Did a West Texas tour a few years ago. The band was excited and the tour was a success. But we came home broke. One of the guys went to jail. I had to call home for a cash wire and that led to a heated discussion on the way home. We were almost home, but the tension proved to be too much. One of the guys got out of the van at a traffic light and said he was walking home. I'm the only one still playing my gig from that bunch of great guys."

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