By Chris Lane
By Jeff Balke
By Aaron Reiss
By Angelica Leicht
By Dianna Wray
By Aaron Reiss
By Camilo Smith
By Craig Malisow
The Devil and St. Luke's
It's safe to say that reaction has been mixed to the announcement that the skyscraper at St. Luke's Episcopal Hospital will be named for plaintiffs' attorney John O'Quinn, who's made a large part of his fortune suing doctors. And by "mixed" we mean some doctors are horrified, others merely appalled.
O'Quinn is donating $25 million to St. Luke's and in return, the edifice -- known heretofore to Houstonians as "That Crazy-Ass Building That Looks Like Two Syringes" -- will be the John O'Quinn Tower.
Angry petitions have been circulated, so far to no avail. (Avail is hard to come by when someone's donating $25 million.)
One doctor -- who doesn't want his name used for fear O'Quinn "will retaliate" -- offered Hair Balls a different perspective.
Naming a medical building after O'Quinn is a great idea, the doctor said, and should start a trend.
Among the renaming possibilities being tossed around:
The Hilton School of Restaurant Management at UH could become The Jeffrey Dahmer Institute of Fine Cooking. The Mental Health and Mental Retardation headquarters should be The Hannibal Lecter Institute of Mental Sciences. And the Houston Area Women's Center could be The BTK Killer Institute.
Doctors. What a bunch of comedians.
The National Rifle Association is a wild-eyed liberal, tree-hugging bunch of anti-war hippies, if a recent development is any indication.
The NRA is protesting against two of Houston's favorite corporate villains -- oil giant ConocoPhillips and Iraq boondoggler Halliburton -- because those fascist outfits are trying to keep employees from carrying personal weapons in cars parked on company lots.
The companies have joined a lawsuit that's trying to block an Oklahoma law allowing employees to keep guns in their cars, and that is just too much for NRA president Wayne LaPierre. "We didn't seek this fight [but] we're not running away from it," he told The New York Times.
Since Houston is mecca for lefty groups griping about global warming and unnecessary wars, we wondered whether the NRA would be joining the annual circus outside the Halliburton stockholders' meeting.
We told an NRA spokesman we wanted to ask about their potential new alliance with No Blood For Oil and Greenpeace; the spokesman promised someone would get back.
Unfortunately, no one had by deadline. We're sure they were all busy perfecting their "Dick Cheney Is A Crook" signs.