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Vagina Music Roundup

A scintillating survey

Take, for example, Steely Dan, a band responsible for hits like "Rikki Don't Lose that Number," "Reelin' in the Years" and the aforementioned "Hey Nineteen." (Don't think you know that last one? You probably do. It's the "Cuervo Gold" song.) Steely Dan was a talented band. Those guys had some fiercely complicated arrangements, could orchestrate difficult tempo and key changes, and could pull off some sweet harmonies. Really, go back and listen if you don't believe me. And yet all this talent was in the service of…what? Advocating flange pedals? No. These songs were written in the name of smoothness itself.

Now, I don't want anyone thinking this is some kind of arch hipster gesture I'm making. I'll grant you that the main reason I like yacht rock is because I find it funny, but there's also something undeniably endearing about the music. I think it's that underneath the smooth grooves and sweet melodies, there's that charming clumsiness that goes along with white males trying to express themselves earnestly, and that's real pathos. Yacht rock is the harmonious sound of grown men tripping over their own feelings, as hilarious as it is touching. My advice is to embrace its damaged cast of characters, invite them into your record collection. As Yacht Rock's Kenny Loggins puts it, "When a friend is drowning in a sea of sadness, you don't just toss him a life vest. You swim one over to him." -- Garrett Kamps

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