Confessions of an Airbrushed Anglophile

A veddy British Madonna wants to keep it bloody real

Dad: I think they were trying to spread their wings, because they were playing non-Christmas music.

Wack: Did you like it?

Dad: It was okay. But I came prepared to hear their Christmas music. I wasn't prepared for other music. Two-thirds of the way through the second set of songs, he [band member] says, "Okay, let's see how many people out there have cell phones -- light 'em up! Wave your cell phones!" That was really neat. All you could see is these little blue screens waving…

Cover of the Rolling Stone: Shaggable sham.
Cover of the Rolling Stone: Shaggable sham.

Mom: Of course, you know your dad couldn't wave his because his doesn't…[laughs]

Dad: Oh, shut up.

Wack: Because his doesn't what?

Dad: I've got my little green screen. I've got my old little phone, the ancient one? [laughs]

Mom: It doesn't light up. So he pretended that he had one.

Wack: Mom, which Christmas song did you like the best?

Mom: Um…

Dad: She liked the one with the strings.

Mom: That was their opening one.

Wack: Was it all downhill from there?

Mom: [laughs]

Dad: For your mom it was.

Mom: It's not like a Christmas concert where you're actually hearing Christmas songs. Like if you go see the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes, if you see that one. You have things that you recognize. But the variations they do on these songs…it's so much rock. And so much guitar and headbanging that you don't recognize it.

Wack: Headbanging?

Mom: Headbanging with "O Come All Ye Faithful."

Dad: No, they run up and down the stage, Annie. They're all longhairs. Longhairs in tuxes.

Mom: When they were doing "O Holy Night" -- which is one of my favorite Christmas songs anyhow -- it was this rock version of it, where they're doing the dueling guitars right next to each other and swinging the hair.

Dad: Think of Jimi Hendrix. The way they did it on the guitar. They know how to play their guitars, believe me.

Mom: It was so rock. As I said, it reminded me a lot of Beavis and Butt-head doing AC/DC.

Dad: The thing is, though, Gerri, people who like Trans-Siberian Orchestra recognize their music the way they do it that way. You're not into that. I enjoyed that.

Mom: Right. All I could think of was Beavis and Butt-head. I had to grab at straws. [laughs] I had to grab at some type of entertainment. -- Annie Zaleski

Trans-Siberian Orchestra appears for two shows on Sunday, December 18, at 2:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. at Toyota Center, 1510 Polk, 713-758-7200.

Another self-described local band for your edification

Band name: Vapors

Web site:

Native or transplant? Native

What's in a name, particularly yours? "Vapor" means insignificance.

When did you form? Four years ago

Releases/discography: Vapor self-titled six-song EP

Who or what do you think you sound like? Foo Fighters, Oasis, Jimmy Eat World

What are some of your noteworthy recent feats? Our song "World Turned Upside Down" will be featured in the upcoming Zukor Pictures release No Pain No Gain.

What albums have had the biggest impact on you? Too many to count, but Breakfast in America by Supertramp is always within reach.

Finish this sentence: I'd rather be… Here 'cause we've seen what "there" is really like.

Weezer or Winger? Weezer

Jay-Z or Z-Trip? Don't like Jay-Z, don't know Z-Trip…but we do like to catch some Z's on day trips.

Football or foosball? Watching football while playing foosball

Parting shot? It's all just someone's opinion.

See them at: The 19th Hole, 202 Sawdust, on Friday, December 16

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