By Chris Lane
By Jeff Balke
By Aaron Reiss
By Angelica Leicht
By Dianna Wray
By Aaron Reiss
By Camilo Smith
By Craig Malisow
For a self-respecting celebrity stalker, All-Star Weekend is an exercise in focus. After all, at any moment, you could bump into (quite literally, depending on where you are) Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Diddy, Nelly, Denzel Washington, Jimmy Smits, Pharrell Williams, Snoop Dogg and, ah, Eva Longoria. Do you really have time then for Travis Barker? Hells no!
My choice: Eva. It all starts on Thursday. Eva is set to appear with her boyfriend (for the moment – she hasn't met me yet) Tony Parker, an All-Star himself who plays guard for the world champion San Antonio Spurs. Tony's called a press conference to discuss his All-Star Weekend plans and to pimp his new single "Top of the Game," where he raps in French (he's from Paris). I roll up to the conference and fight my way through media crews from all over the country.
Eva doesn't show.
Booo-ring. But Parker does bring up his Desperate Housewives girlfriend. "She's a crazy Mexican – hot-blooded," he says. Merci, Tony. I'll need to remember how hot-blooded she is when I accidentally bump into her during the Celebrity All-Star Game.
It's Friday night at the George R. Brown Convention Center, where amidst the chaotic NBA All-Star Jam Session –- a fan-fest of all things hoops-related –- the Celebrity All-Star Game is going down. Eva is the coach of team H-Town, which boasts celeb players like Nelly (who does a backflip during a TV timeout –- impressive) and Nick Cannon. They're taking on team Clutch City, which features the likes of Ice Cube, Bow Wow and Donald Faison from Scrubs. The celeb male players are getting schooled by H-Town's Becky Hammon, a WNBA player who's straight up ballin'. I move over to the H-Town bench, where Eva, in a blazer and jeans (which, to my chagrin, have the word "Tony" in sparkly letters on the right leg), spots me attempting to snap a picture. I'm not saying she does it on purpose, but she turns and looks at the back of her jeans in full swimsuit model pose.
The game's over – even with Hammon on their side, H-Town chokes. As the court is swarmed by media, fans and abrasive security, I spot Eva talking to Entertainment Tonight. She's two feet from me! This is my moment. She turns around, facing me, and grins.
"Off the court, sir."
The security guard is practically pulling me off the court by my shirt. I show him my media badge and turn to find Eva. But she's gone in a flurry of handlers and photographers. Whatev. That security guard was a mere interruption. Eva and I will always have our moment.