Gender preference be damned Madonna is the sexiest mother on the planet. Girls, young and old, would pull a VMA Britney just to be in her presence, and guys, straight or gay, would hop at the chance to shag her from here to England. Madge's own sexuality has always been ambiguous, and she's been open about exploration. Today, her most loyal (read: gayest) fans will gather at South Beach for Madonnarama. Expect an entire night of songs (including the 30-plus hits) by our once young and virginlike lucky star, who's currently a 47-year-old MILF "Hung Up" on wearing leotards and making disco popular again. (Apparently it's working.) Ed Bailey, co-creator of the immensely popular Washington, D.C., party Velvet Nation, will take the Madonna-fied night into the early hours, but we're sure you'll get into the groove when doors open.
Sat., March 25, 9 p.m.