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The Tits Are All Right

Our queer Nightfly agent gets in a little over his head

"It takes a strong woman to be submissive at the right time," says Lisa. "Guys, you can't treat them like they're dumb. Men are intelligent, but simple."

My night of female flesh drew to a close as the $7 post-happy-hour beers drained the jiggling orbs of any remaining novelty. I knew I had to get a dance but was intimidated. Jenn saw Dallas coming out of the door and pounced:

"My friend wants a dance, but he's really shy."

We moved back to a couch while Dallas collected all her $1 bills from the main stage. She told me the DJ wouldn't allow her to dance to any Marilyn Manson. Not even "Beautiful People"! The nerve!

Finally, the big moment: Dallas took her place over my awkwardly seated self.

As she gyrated above me, rubbing her breasts in my face, I couldn't help but confront two profound realizations: I definitely have no attraction to women, and Dallas's skin was...so insanely soft. I mentioned this to her (well, the second part, anyway) while she had her ass in my crotch and was bending back over me to provide a fantastic angle of her perky breasts.

"Of course I'm soft! I'm a woman!"

Huh. You learn something new every day.

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