Caught in the 'Net

The Web site Don't Date Him Girl outs cheaters -- but who's lying, the guys or their accusers?

Yet critics run the risk of being torn apart by wolves. Manhattan-based writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel felt the claws when she wrote about DDHG for the Web site The Black Table in 2005.

Bussel writes that DDHG "smacks of self-indulgence, along with a false sense of 'we're-all-in-this-together,' as if women were renowned for trusting each other's advice when it comes to men, when in fact we're probably better known for being even cattier, colder and crazier in our efforts to hold onto said men."

She continues, "The entire tone of the site assumes some sort of moral superiority on the part of women, one that seems to play into the idea of women as watchdogs and men as horndogs, and it's these sort of assumptions...that further the age-old 'battle of the sexes mentality.' "

Bussel also addresses the site's unverified allegations and ends with a call for a better way to tackle the problem of infidelity: "There's no easy solution or quick fix...and coddling women into thinking they've found the answer in the form of wildly exciting Web posts simply offers them a brief respite topped with a dollop of false hope and a sprinkling of sexist assumptions. That doesn't really sound like such a great sisterhood to me."

In her rebuttal on the DDHG blog, Joseph dwells on Bussel's sexuality, first describing her as "a lesbian writer," then stating, "While I agree that women also cheat, this Web site is dedicated to men who cheat. Start one for cheating women and lesbians if you'd like!"

She writes, "I don't think her comments are worth addressing," meaning that questions of libel, sexist stereotyping and pandering are not valid topics of discussion. In touting her background as a "journalist," Joseph implies she knows credible discourse when she sees it.

And because Bussel is a lesbian (actually, Bussel describes herself as bi/queer) who raises questions about the site, Joseph says, the concept of sisterhood is "something you may not know any- thing about."

That's when Joseph's supporters jump in:

Rachel has a bitter mindset and is not deserving of our attention.

Rachel is just one negative comment, all the (straight) girls I've told about this website are more than exited to visit it [sic].

Don't let the words of a lesbo discourage you.


Houston has its share of alleged louses -- again, we won't use their real names.

There's 21-year-old Tom, of whom it's written, "He had posted some nude pictures that I had sent him online. He had the audacity to deny doing so." We tracked Tom down, but unfortunately he didn't want to talk.

There's 50-year-old Harry, who, for reasons known only to him and his accuser, is pictured standing upon the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

"This man is a wolf in sheep's clothing," his accuser writes. She claims that, while they were dating, Harry was wooing another woman from Boston, who quit her job to move to Houston to be with him.

Then there's the incredible story of Albert, 24, a former Texas State University baseball player. He's pictured in his uniform, catching a fly ball. His accuser claims that Albert posted the following description of himself, and his brother Martin, online:

"We look just alike, so the fun is double-dipped. We both have serious girls, and [Martin's] is fat, big-boned, so for the most part he and I do what we want. You can treat big girls however, for the most part...We like to have freaky fun on the DL with dudes, so for those wanting to have some flings holla at us."

Apparently, DDHG will have you believe that Albert freely identifies himself by name, athletic affiliation and graduation date when he trolls online for discreet homosexual encounters. We tracked down Albert, who of course denied the claims. He said he had no idea he was featured on the site, but he also didn't care.

One guy we couldn't track down was Helmut, the German Casanova. That's because his accuser -- the girl who slept with him -- didn't know his last name. We really wanted to talk to him because he looks like a major stud, posing shirtless, wearing a look of extreme self-satisfaction.

"He wooed me, pressured for me to sleep w/him and then blew me off...Now I see him on-line, w/little messages...like 'Please send love, kisses, bra sizes, pics and even phone numbers...He used me for sex and all the while dating other girls on-line...A waste of a good girls time [sic]."

If only she had somehow learned his last name, we really could've held Helmut's feet to the flame.

Outside Houston, we tried to track down Tyrone in Dallas, who is described as a "MENACE 2 SOCIETY," but we were able to reach only his mother, who sounded like she couldn't be bothered.

We also tried Elliot in North Richland Hills, who supposedly knocked up a Hooters girl (twice!) while he was married. But it sounds like he won't be cheating on anyone else because the woman who answered the phone said he's dead.

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