Bloody Mary

I meet up with Editress at Palace Lanes (4191 Bellaire Boulevard, 713-667-6554) to discuss the column, sample some of their famous Bloody Marys, and play a couple of rounds of tenpin. Since I bowl about once every other year, I (high score: 95) prepare myself for a beatdown, courtesy of my seasoned bowling-pro boss (high score: 181). We quickly learn that we're in the middle of gay league night (which explains all the pink bowling balls), and therefore we'll have to wait for a lane. At the bar, a Bloody Mary soon turns into several, and Editress and I, along with Trenton the Bartender (high score: 269) and Patrick the Other Guy, make conversation. After an hour, our lane opens up, and the beatdown commences. Editress wins the first round easy, but I win the second, for which I credit the alcohol. We each discover that we have our own unique style of bowling. Hers is somewhat refined, patient and consistently on target. Mine is basically bipolar: either gutterballs or strikes the whole way through. "It's feast or famine with you, isn't it?" says Editress as we head back to the bar. Somewhere between the sixth and tenth round of Bloodys, we learn that Trenton has an aquarium in his apartment that doesn't hold any fish, just stones that friends bring him from trips around the world. I resolve to bring him one back from my next vacation. We all tell abridged versions of our life stories, and continue to talk until the bowling alley closes.

3 ounces Campbell's tomato juice
1 shot vodka (any brand)
1 dash celery salt
4 dashes black pepper
Tabasco sauce

Combine juice, vodka, salt and pepper in a highball glass. Add in 15 shakes of Tabasco. Stir for 30 seconds to a minute. Pick up that spare, and watch out for gutterballs.