By Jef With One F
By Bob Ruggiero
By Corey Deiterman
By Marco Torres
By Angelica Leicht
By Angelica Leicht
By Charne Graham
Paris Hilton: "Stars Are Blind" The song may be a shockingly likable little nugget of pop-reggae, but that doesn't mean I need to see Paris ineptly grinding on a palm tree or frolicking in the surf in black-and-white like she was Chris Isaak.
Cassie: "Me & U" A video really needs more than one location if it's going to avoid becoming ridiculously boring. I kept waiting for something to happen in this one, some sort of jarring juxtaposition or story-line advancement, but no, it just keeps going: Cassie in a room dancing and staring at herself in the mirror. There's a semi-troubling narcissism overtone running all through this thing: You never see the object of her affection, but you do see her staring longingly into the mirror and even kissing herself. Maybe this is supposed to be hot, but it makes it look like Cassie is just singing to and about herself, like she's the only person she could ever love. Also, she can't dance. But I like the song and she looks good, so whatever.
Ashlee Simpson: "Invisible" Just awful. Ashlee is virtually unrecognizable with a blond dye job, and the song is a wretchedly boring slice of almost-Creed power-ballad sludge. The video is pretentious black-and-white with a ton of slo-mo shots and a plot that egregiously bites Million Dollar Baby with Ashlee looking utterly ridiculous as a boxer. There's something to be said for watching her get her ass beat, but you don't even really get to see any of the other girl's punches land. This is the first bad Ashlee Simpson video.
Kelis: "Bossy" This is what I'm talking about: rich-people decadence, dyed-green poodles eating oysters, Jet Skis, Lamborghinis, outdoor canopy beds, Frank Gehry buildings, ridiculous sunglasses, ugly-ass grills, ice sculptures, drunk waiters, furtive makeouts, Too Short getting his Cary Grant on...This is pretty much what every music video should aspire to be; it creates a world that probably doesn't even exist but that anyone watching would love to visit. The whole thing is photographed like an American Apparel ad, and Kelis, unsurprisingly enough, looks insanely hot. My only complaint is that stupid dance she does at the beginning that gives her Tyrannosaurus arms. -- Tom Breihan
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