Name That Town

An image crisis in Fort Bend County

Any idiot who knows astrology (umm...straining mightily not to make a "redundancy alert" here) could have predicted Pujols's blast at that moment, Jones says. The Card first baseman "had a sudden burst of masculine hunting-and-gathering energy, courtesy of Uranus hitting his Mars."

Lidge, on the other hand, was -- wait for it -- having doubts about whether he wanted his team to win. At that moment in time, Jones says, he might have felt it was better for the universe for the Cardinals to triumph. "Maybe deep down, he saw the Astros as not as deserving as whatever the other team Pujols was on," says Jones, obviously not a fantasy-baseball freak. "Instead of taking one for the team, he gave one up -- for the collective team of the 'greater good.' "

She goes on to explain that (something long and astrologically technical about Mars) happened, "meaning his actions were in the best interest of his deeply held beliefs...Lidge unconsciously saw that day, that moment -- based on the exact time, which we have -- in clear focus."

Well, that explains that. Although we kinda wish Lidge just would have begged off from pitching that night instead of serving one up.

So what does the future hold for Lidge? (Or, more important, Astros fans?) Nothing much good: "He may go into some type of humanitarian work, but it won't be for a few years," Jones says. "He's got to thoroughly get disillusioned with professional baseball first."

Hey -- sucking in 2006 was a pretty good start.

Logos to Go

Missouri City is considering turning to North Star Destination Strategies to upgrade its bland image and maybe even change its name. North Star specializes in, among other things, creating eye-catching, slogan-laden logos for its clients, like the cities above. But North Star's not the only one who can play this game: Click here to view three guaranteed winning logos for our loveliest suburbs — for free!

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