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Stuff You Need to Know to Avoid Musical Ostracism

Alarming mail

Receiving a package with nine copies of the new Primitive Radio Gods record.

Aw, man, musta gotten trashed and surfed cdbaby.com again.

Who can get through A Charlie Brown Christmas without openly weeping at its splendor and genius?
Who can get through A Charlie Brown Christmas without openly weeping at its splendor and genius?

TV Atrocity

The Daily Show cutting off Tom Waits's in-studio performance of "The Day After Tomorrow" in mid-verse.

Further proof of Colbert's superiority.

Cartoon Planet

Emusic.com's splendid "Bugs Bunny Goes Classical" feature, a list of a dozen serious music pieces appropriated forLooney Toons adventures.

Kill the wabbit, kill the waaaaaaabit!

Internet Insults

Being referred to as "that weenie" in jovial online discourse.

Emasculating.

Yuletide Indicator

Weeping openly upon revisiting the devastating majesty ofA Charlie Brown Christmas.

Further emasculating.

Nintendo Proficiency

Whipping everyone's ass at Wii Bowling.

Remasculating.

Yuletide Dilemma

Puzzling over what to buy mom for Christmas given this year's absence of any decent U2 merchandise.

Perhaps she would enjoy the new Primitive Radio Gods record.

 
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