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Play Our Dating Game

Fat Joe, Young Jeezy and Lil' Wayne

Introducing tonight's bachelors, in no particular order. One is a don in the Puerto Rican Cosa Nostra. Another is a one-time rap star who likes to call himself “The Snowman.” Our final bachelor is proud of his resemblance to his daddy and always rolls with cash money. Take our blind quiz (bachelors are identified at the end) and see which rapper could be your dream date.

Why should I go out with you?

No. 1: Psychopathic wordplay, schizophrenic flow / I guess it's safe to say I got schizophrenic dough.

No. 2: I'm a pimp, not a simp / Like ice in my drink / And I don't think twice or blink / 'cuz I'm focused rollin' in the whitest mink / Like I'm a polar bear / Let down my hair / Get jazzy on a bitch like Fred Astaire.

No. 3: My life's legendary / If I wrote down all in a book, it would be very scary / What you know, 16 Beemers and Benzes / Rope chain down to my dick / The beef looks tremendous.

What would an evening with you be like?

No. 1: Put the pound game on her, hit her from the back / I'm young and thuggin', I don't give a fuck / He can make love to you, I'm-a beat it up.

No. 2: Toss ya like a fruit salad, strawberry-grape ya / They ball when they can and I'm ballin' by nature.

No. 3: Net worth put the tool in the skirt / Which you fools know about gettin' head in reverse / About clockin' grips, and coppin' whips?

WhatÕs your biggest fault?

No. 1: Run through a hundred grand watching Matlock.

No. 2: I'm so vain, it's a problem / It ain't a stain on these Pradas / I'm just bein' modest.

No. 3: Splash your lungs right in front of your kids / I'm a basket case / Don't ever give this bastard space / Or I'm-a have your ass erased.

What kind of life would you offer me?

No. 1: Eat at Spun dinners four times a week / Bucket of crab legs / Slick had the lobsters / I'm the real deal these other niggaz impostors.

No. 2: I can take that dirt and turn that shit glitter / I leave the work wit' her, yeah, she my baby sitter / And if I find out she stealin' for realer, I'm-a kill her.

No. 3: Rollin' with me could only get you fast cars and / Fuck-mad bitches and dine amongst the stars / But we gettin' mad chav in the life we live / MTV's comin' over just to feel my crib.

WhatÕs your philosophy on life?

No. 1: A hard head make a soft ass / And hard white it gets you straight cash.

No. 2: Money, money, money is my intuition / Money over bitches / Such an easy decision.

No. 3: Hustlin' is the key to success / Money is the key to sex / The life is gettin' cash, drinkin' mo', gettin' blessed.

Which did you choose? No. 1, Young Jeezy; No. 2, Lil' Wayne; or No. 3, Fat Joe?

 
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