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A Guide to Being Cool

Stuff you need to know this week to avoid musical ostracism

 Cinematic Masterwork

Tone Loc's “Funky Cold Medina” figures prominently in the Shrek 3 trailer.

Rich Boy's “Throw Some D's” already slated for use in Shrek 9, due out in 2025.

Shrek and "Funky Cold Medina"? Makes perfect sense to us.
Shrek and "Funky Cold Medina"? Makes perfect sense to us.

Crass Jokes

Because every freak should have a picture of Shrek's dick on they wall.

Sorry.

Seriously

And right before Mother's Day, too — yours would be appalled.

What the fuck you want me to do about it? It's right there in the song, and I gotta keep my edge!

Oh, Now You're Swearing Again, Too

Not to mention referencing the phalli of cartoon characters.

Just what are you implying exactly? I —

Calm Down

Why don't you do another item on a song you heard while standing in line at Chipotle, loser.

I won't stand for this impug—

Back to the Column, Tough Guy

We'll talk about this later.

Goddamn right we will.

Inaccurate Stereotypes

The improbable realization that a band stoned enough to name itself “Black Moth Super Rainbow” is actually listenable.

Satisfied?

 
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