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A Montrose Man's Panic Room Wasn't Enough Whitt Bruney was so scared of his neighbor, he moved out. Eight years later that didn't do much good...
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Temples of Tex-Mex: A Diner's Guide to the State's Oldest Mexican Restaurants We took a pilgrimage in search of old-fashioned tamales, chili con carne and cheese enchiladas
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Bootlegging Dr Pepper The demand for sugar-sweetened Dublin Dr Pepper has never been higher — just ask the bootleggers
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What Happens When Chronically Ill Kids Grow Up Physically disabled young adults who weren't supposed to live this long find themselves hemmed in by an unprepared heath care system
- Extra Crispy at Russo's New York Coal-Fired Pizzeria
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National Features >
Broward-Palm Beach New Times
Sexual Healing
For Florida's sole remaining sex surrogate, love is a many splintered thing.
By Michael J. Mooney
City Pages
Your Friendly Neighborhood War Profiteer
It's not just giant companies cashing in on America's defense industry.
By Jeff Severns Guntzel
The Pitch
Supersizing Sonic
How a throwaway idea at the Barkley ad agency became the "Sonic Guys."
By Justin Kendall
Houston Press
Temples of Tex-Mex
A diner's guide to Texas's oldest Mexican restaurants.
By Robb Walsh
The Sad Kermit Video
Kermit hurt himself today
By Ben Westhoff
Published on May 24, 2007
My roommate introduced me to the world's most revolting web phenomenon, something worse than the Virginia Tech shooter's manifesto, worse than cell phone footage of Saddam Hussein's hanging. That's right — the sad Kermit video.
Available at sadkermit.com (if you must), the short is a parody of the last video Johnny Cash ever made, for chrissakes. Kermit the Frog sits before a black backdrop, guitar in hand and lit cigarette dangling from his lipless mouth. First he shoots heroin. Then he jerks off to a picture of Miss Piggy, before losing his amphibian erection while glancing at a picture of his deceased creator, Jim Henson. (I am not making this up.) Then he quivers, snorts blow, takes pills and appears to hang himself in the shower.
All that's followed by some projectile vomiting and a blow job involving Rowlf the Dog. (Where is PETA when you need them?)
But the worst thing is that it's disgustingly popular, with hundreds of thousands of YouTube views. What a sad commentary on our infantilized American culture, one that needs heaping platefuls of irony and nostalgia in the same serving.
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