Sandy's Produce Market

The weekend brunch buffet started at seven o'clock in the morning. The salad bar was set up the same as it is for lunch. The best things in the chafing dishes on the hot food line were the stone-ground yellow grits and the Scottish-style steel-cut oatmeal. There were also scrambled eggs, limp bacon, pale turkey sausage, potatoes in some kind of dairy-like stuff, meatless black beans, and onion and peppers.

I made myself two slices of whole-grain toast and then cut them in half and spread each piece with a different kind of nut butter. The almond butter was terrific; the pecan butter had so much sugar in it, it tasted like it was made with pralines; the cashew butter was all dried up; and the peanut butter wasn't nearly as good as Skippy.

During the weekend brunch, an omelet station is set up amongst the tables. I had an omelet with mushrooms, cheese and onions. The eggs were fluffy and the flavor was excellent. Rather than butter or olive oil, the cook was using virgin coconut oil.

Coconut oil tastes great. But due to its saturated fat content, the American Heart Association and other organizations have long recommended a reduction in its consumption. Then new studies disputed the old findings. And now Sandy's is selling virgin coconut oil as the latest in health foods. It costs ten bucks a jar. You can eat it, cook with it or use it as a face cream.

"It's odd that none of the produce is organic," one of my tablemates observed. "But I guess they would have to raise the price if it was." Another of my friends sprinkled some ground flaxseed over the top of the coconut oil omelet, to double the nutritional gris-gris. I covered mine with medicinal cayenne. Boy, were we healthy when we left that place.

On my way out, I noticed a guy sitting alone with a giant drink cup from Whataburger on his table. "Bring your own drink, that's smart," I commented as I walked by.

"It's the only way to get a Diet Coke around here," he said. Then he held up a plastic leftover dish that was also on his table. "I bring my own salsa for the omelet too. They haven't got anything spicy." I suppose you could bring in beer and potato chips too, but that defeats the purpose.

Eating at Sandy's Produce Market is a form of penance. You can go ahead and stuff yourself with french fries, steak, hamburgers and fried foods all week, as long as you eat one meal at Sandy's to atone for it all.

The food isn't very tasty, but you feel so virtuous after eating it, you don't really mind.