Austin Lounge Lizards

Austin Lounge Lizards perform Saturday, July 21, at McGonigel's Mucky Duck, 2425 Norfolk, 713-528-5999. The Black Angels and God's Temple of Family Deliverance are also on the bill.

If only, as the name implies, this were an Austin-centric lounge-singer act. Sadly, a ticket to this show won't buy a bunch of cross-dressing hippie burnouts crooning Dean Martin, just an old-guy folk-bluegrass combo with more banjos and fiddle than gold medallions. True, songs like "Luster's Motel" and "Jesus Loves Me (But He Can't Stand You)" are sort of funny in a grandpa's-working-blue sort of way. But imagine what might have been...

"Luck be a lady, toooo-night. Yeah! How's it going out there in H-Town, huh? It's a pleasure to be here in a real exciting city, just over 200 miles away from the live music capital of the world! Am I right?" [Complete silence.] "Luck be a lady to-niiiight. Why the long faces? You act like the Barton Springs salamander just went extinct!" [Rim shot...more silence.] "C'mon! You know, folks, we flew in from Austin earlier today, and with the money we make from this gig, minus the clean energy credits we bought to make this tour completely carbon-neutral, we'll dang near break even!" [Sound of chairs scooting away from tables. Crickets.]

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