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Yellow Journalism: After reading "Weekend Warriors" [by Chris Vogel, October 4] with its many and gross inaccuracies, my eye has been jaundiced to the quality of your other work. Certainly I will give "reporter" Chris Vogel's future articles the same respect I give to any supermarket tabloid's "news": useful for wiping up cat puke or as an emergency toilet for the dog.
My heart goes out to Michael Scinto's family. Losing a family member is very hard, and it sounds like in their grief, his family did what most of us do: find someone to blame. Scinto had fallen off the wagon, was using and needed treatment that he refused to ask for, as far as Vogel "reported." ManKind Project is an easy target because it is secretive; it doesn't do things the "normal" way, and that whole psychobabble crap is for losers, anyway. Real men just get over it, right? (Wrong!)
If Scinto felt uncomfortable that his AA group and sponsor pressured him to join against his will, why didn't he find another group? AA is voluntary: Show up or don't. Say, why isn't his sister suing AA? They also have "a poor vetting system and unlicensed men" (and women) running it.
I did the weekend early this year and have participated actively since then, staffing a weekend and meeting with my group weekly. From my experience, the weekend was very hard, but very rewarding — it gave me a chance to work on deep, buried issues that I had kept hidden from myself for more than 30 years. I wasn't at Scinto's weekend, obviously, so I cannot say what happened to him. At my weekend, I was treated with respect at all times, both physically and mentally. When I staffed, I treated each man the same. If a leader had us get naked and then said something like, "[I]f you wish, you may reach over and grab your brother's dick," I would've walked, without hesitation, even if I was staffing. The nearest residence to the property is less than a few hundred yards away, and I'm betting they have a phone that has the numbers 9, 1, and 1 on it.
Chris Chamless
Houston
It's therapy: I found the ManKind Project article sensational in many areas, yet no matter what you call it, untrained and unlicensed facilitators of these groups practice therapy. For some, it is life-changing and rewarding; for others, it is harmful. The New Age movement provided the arena for such groups to offer services, and licensing boards are powerless to regulate them. Members are routinely asked to sign confidentiality waivers prior to participation, and these serve to skirt adherence to the legal and ethical standards of the professional licensing boards. Complaints to licensing boards are routinely dismissed.
I participated in a local "nontraditional-therapy" group in town for more than ten years. I did learn some valuable skills, and my personal and professional relationships have improved tremendously. As members of MKP have stated, there are many benefits. However, I was misdiagnosed as having borderline personality disorder, among other diagnoses; was continuously verbally, mentally and emotionally abused; pressured to pay fines for "reprehensible behavior" (i.e., turning in an assignment late); pressured to recruit new members; and continuously hounded for more monetary contributions and/or scholarships for other members. I often discussed with my "mentor" the fact that I could not afford the cost of multiple group and individual sessions per month, since this is not covered by insurance, and was told to make adjustments in my finances since the group process was the single most important and valuable aspect of my life. One group member loaned the facilitator a significant amount of money, and when he left the group abruptly, the facilitator announced she would consider the loan a donation. The loan is outstanding two years later.
Many ex-members feel they were psychologically damaged by participating in this group, and most are happy to have gotten out — after the initial shock and withdrawal wears off. However, ex-members do not retaliate for fear of prosecution or worse. After leaving the group, threatening letters from the facilitators and their attorneys (the people who said they cared deeply for each of us) were sent to several of us. Family members who remained in the group are forced to have zero contact with those who left and are told their family is "dead" to them. I personally am seeing a licensed psychologist to recover from what he has called "post-traumatic stress syndrome." There was no graduation date from the group, and members were brainwashed into thinking if they left, they would not survive; their lives would fall apart within six months, and they would be dead.
Perhaps the saddest aspect was the widespread alienation of family and friends that was endemic within this group, particularly after someone tried the group and decided it was not for them. Anyone who left was shunned and considered a nonperson — and all contact with them was strictly forbidden. It was common practice for friendships to be destroyed, families fractured, and jobs and careers threatened from the pressure to abide by the dictum that the group came before all else.
