For Florida's sole remaining sex surrogate, love is a many splintered thing.
It's not just giant companies cashing in on America's defense industry.
How a throwaway idea at the Barkley ad agency became the "Sonic Guys."
A diner's guide to Texas's oldest Mexican restaurants.
...because a woman already went there — two decades ago — in Phantasy Star (Sega, 1988). In an era when every RPG flaunted the graphics of a cave painting, Phantasy Star stunned us with 3D dungeons, multiple alien worlds and a female protagonist named Alis. How does Final Fantasy get 376 sequels, while this one gets forgotten?
Contra 4 (Nintendo DS): A brilliantly addictive blend of old-school side-scrolling violence and new-school design; the carnage takes place simultaneously on both screens of the DS. Contra 4 not only hands your ass to you, it gift-wraps it with a bow. Reminds us of...
...the panic-inducing Robotron: 2084 (Williams, 1982). Like Contra, this arcade smash was set in a post-apocalyptic future featuring endless waves of aliens getting all up in your grill — but without a spread gun, continue screen or "Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start" for you to hide behind.
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune (PlayStation 3): Guide a treasure hunter through ancient ruins while dodging rivals in pursuit of a powerful artifact...
...kinda like the original Tomb Raider (PlayStation, 1996). Yeah, Uncharted blows away its forebear in terms of, well, everything. With one major exception: If you're gonna spend 15 hours staring at a character's backside, it's Lara Croft you want in front of you.
Super Mario Galaxy (Nintendo Wii): You would have bought this game even if it had been called Super Mario Takes a Dump, so credit Nintendo for creating a stellar sequel with insane, gravity-based puzzles lifted, incredibly, right out of...
...a side-scrolling shill called M.C. Kids (Nintendo, 1992). Ridiculed for being an ad for Ronald McDonald's meat laxatives, this weird little platformer actually wasn't that bad. M.C. Kids ripped off Super Mario Bros. 3, but its gravity-shifting play was swiped right back, Hamburglar style, for SM Galaxy.
Call of Duty 4 (multiple systems): Save the world from extremists, one bullet at a time...
...just like you used to do in Capcom's WW2 opus Commando (Nintendo, 1986). COD4 even cribbed some musty design elements from the classic, pitting you against an infinite horde of enemies that can only be stopped by the somewhat moronic tactic of charging right at them.
Rock Band (multiple systems): Bang on plastic in time to the music while memorizing each note, represented by colorful squares...
...which undeniably trace their origin to the beeping, booping Simon (Milton Bradley, 1978). Maybe Simon can't crank out "Detroit Rock City," but he doesn't cost you a car payment either. And no matter which game is your addiction of choice, neither will help you play a Bowie solo in real life.