Much of his stand-up act centers on Lopez's family life and features his brutally negative grandmother, an array of drunk and tough relatives, and now, his well-heeled daughter. He says his ten-year-old daughter couldn't have survived his childhood. For one thing, she gets an allowance, something Lopez says he never got. Speaking in his grandmother's heavy Spanish accent, he says, "'Mira, carbon, I allow you to live, now get the hell out of here.'" And then there were baseball games. While other kids were encouraged and cheered, Lopez was humiliated: "'Fucking stupid, get it! Open your fucking eyes! I didn't pay $45 for the uniform just so you could miss the ball. Oh, now he's crying. Es-stupid!'"
But more and more, Lopez (or G-Lo, as he sometimes calls himself) is getting political. "Forget LOL," he says. "I got a new one - FTP - fuck that puto. George Bush? You know what? FTP - fuck that puto." In another bit, Lopez takes on the environmentalists. "I love Mexican people because we didn't buy into that whole global warming or environmentally friendly thing. If you see a Chicano in a hybrid, shoot that motherfucker." Mr. Hybrid might be getting 65 miles to the gallon, Lopez says, but he looks "like a puto doing it." See who else is on George Lopez's FTP list at 8 p.m. today. Toyota Center, 1510 Polk. For information, call 713-758-7200 or visit www.toyotacentertix.com. $40 to $60.
Sat., Feb. 16, 8 p.m., 2008