Most Popular
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Barack Obama and Me
It was the year 2000 and I was a young hungry reporter in Chicago covering a young hungry state legislator
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Mescaline on the Mexican Border
Texas is the only state in the country where peyote is sold legally. Really.
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A Prison Cover-up During Hurricane Rita
For days after the storm, inmates in Beaumont lived without A/C, electricity or hot meals. Press releases kept saying everything inside was fine. Guards and prisoners agree — that was nothing but B.S.
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Little Bitty Burger Barn
"It's okay to be little bitty in the big city" is an apt slogan for this new burger joint, where sliders rule
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Ghost Town CFS: Carriage House Cafe
Step back in time — to a spooky old carriage barn with a monster chicken-fried steak
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Barack Obama and Me (254)
It was the year 2000 and I was a young hungry reporter in Chicago covering a young hungry state legislator
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A Prison Cover-up During Hurricane Rita (21)
For days after the storm, inmates in Beaumont lived without A/C, electricity or hot meals. Press releases kept saying everything inside was fine. Guards and prisoners agree — that was nothing but B.S.
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Are You Hot Enough for Citizen Lounge? (7)
All This Useless Beauty
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HoustonHipHop.com Relaunch Party (5)
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Save Lobo: A Siberian Husky Mix is Sentenced to Die (28)
Why? Because he's big and intimidating and because one family complained about him over and over again
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"CSI: The Experience"
Exhibit inspired by CBS series puts you behind the evidence
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Lisa Landolt and Jo Barrett
Two law-school-grads-turned-chick-lit-authors show us amore might be the death of us yet
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Michael Winslow
The man with ten thousand noises comes to Houston
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Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo Parade
Watch downtown turn into cowpoke heaven
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Free First Sundays: Family Flicks
The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston hosts four kid-friendly films
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Cover Story: The Judy’s Come Back
06:06AM 03/13/08 -
Overheard at SXSW
11:08AM 03/13/08 -
Rockets-Hawks: Where 20 in a Row Happens
09:47AM 03/13/08 -
Jameson’s Rarest Vintage Reserve at $250 a Bottle
12:20PM 03/11/08
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Recent Articles By Julia Youssefnia
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“Animal Grossology”
Yucky science for kids
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Ty Barnett
Comic solves the world’s problems, one joke at a time
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Chris Knight
Trailer Tapes star sings about loss
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Black Orpheus
A Greek tragedy set to the samba
National Features
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Phoenix New Times
Canine Crusaders
That drug-sniffing dog up ahead? He may not be your best friend.
By Ray Stern -
Broward-Palm Beach New Times
The Muscle Men
Thanks to a string of Florida "anti-aging clinics," baseball's steroid scandal isn't limited to superstars.
By Michael J. Mooney -
Miami New Times
Picked On
Farm workers earn nada in America's green-bean capital.
By Janine Zeitlin -
Village Voice
"Why I'm No Longer a Brain-Dead Liberal"
An election-season essay from one of America's greatest playwrights.
By David Mamet
To the soccer moms who come to her shows expecting bits about dating and PMS, comedian Lisa Lampanelli says in a loud, northeast accent: “Shut up ya dirty twat, lick it.” Lampanelli might dress like a housewife, but her crude, often offensive sets have nothing wholesome about them. Often compared to Don Rickles, she likes to chide her audience about everything from their looks (“You look like a retarded Harry Potter”), to their sexuality (“You’ve been going out two weeks? That’s four years in gay”), to their ethnicity (insert every racial stereotype imaginable). The heavy-set, middle-aged comedian appears regularly on Jay Leno and the Howard Stern Show, and her comedy album Dirty Girl won a Grammy nomination.
If you’re initially put off by her insensitivity, don’t worry, she’s got a soft side: “As a white bitch, I’ve always felt we owe you black men the oral sex to say ‘I’m sorry’ for slavery.” 8 p.m. Verizon Wireless Theater, 520 Texas. For tickets and information, call 713-230-1600 or visit
www.verizonwirelesstheater.com. $35.
Fri., March 14, 8 p.m., 2008
