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Season in the Sun, Part II

Sizing up the summer's classic-rock scorecard

The summer classic rock invasion continues this week with the Doobie Brothers/Chicago show Saturday at the Woodlands Pavilion. As always, we're here to help you get the most bang for your buck. We even have a handy-dandy rating system for all these shows, as follows:

Positive Categories include the Lighter Load, which measures the amount of stone cold classics you'll be waving your Bic to, the Cachet Counter, which is a guesstimate of the current cultural relevance, and the self-explanatory Guilty Pleasure Score.

Negative Categories include the Overexposure Index and the Sap Tax, which weighs in insipid balladry and/or extensive wankery.

Disclaimer: Values are assigned according to Wack's personal preferences and prejudices; this is hardly an exact science, people. Artists are ranked in the chronological order of their appearance in ­Houston.

With all that in mind, who's better? Chicago or the Doobie Brothers? Let's do the math.

Chicago

Lighters: 5 — Quantity, not quality

Cachet: 3

Guilt: 6 — Sue me, but their super-sappy '80s ballads make it "Hard to Say I'm Sorry." Ouch.

OverEx: (-2)

Sap: (-6) Okay, "You're the Inspiration" is a little hard to take.

Doobie Brothers

Lighters: 6 — "The Doctor"? "China Grove"? "Jesus Is Just Alright"? Good stuff.

Cachet: 4 — It's been a few years since Yacht Rock.

Guilt: 5 "What a Fool Believes" is still genius.

OverEx: (-4)

Sap: (-4)

There you have it – the Doobie Brothers edge Chicago 7-6, as the Windy City combo's Sap score seizes defeat from the jaws of victory.

 
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