Patrice Oneal

Patrice Oneal has this to say about comedy today: “It stinks.” The comedian, whom you might have seen on The Office or Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, says this is because the wrong people are in charge of comedy: everyone. “Everybody has a fucking say. It’s like not everybody should have a fucking say — like shut your mouth, I know funny because I live it,” he says. Oneal is still a tad bitter about Comedy Central canceling Tough Crowd because, he says, it was one of the purest forms of craft being televised. “It was legitimately four or five dudes who really didn’t really give a shit,” he says. “No one was really trying to be famous.” The show went perfectly with Oneal’s material, which includes everything from politics to how to give good blow jobs. He says the cancellation is a clear sign of the times. “I’m going to sue Comedy Central for putting comedy in their name because it implies something — it’s false advertising,” he says.

Oneal has a better idea of who should be in charge. “I’ll decide what’s funny — me. I’ll be in charge of funny,” he says. See if you agree he’s the man for the job today at 8 p.m.; 8 and 10:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday; and 7:30 p.m. Sunday. The Improv, 7620 Katy Freeway. For tickets and information, call 713-333-8800 or visit www.improvhouston.com. $17 to $20.
Thu., July 3, 8:30 p.m.; Fri., July 4, 8 & 10:30 p.m.; Sat., July 5, 8 & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., July 6, 7:30 p.m., 2008